House of Zathras

Lookee, lookee!

2006-12-28T19:20:00.000-06:00

I've got a new place!!! =HC=/Bitterroot has been patient and more than patient in setting up the new place. I still have a few bugs to work out with the new home, but it's livable. I wasn't sure I was ready for a new place, but Google drove me to it. Blogger is being completely taken over by Google. And I wasn't going there. I've been thoroughly disgusted by Google since last Christmas. Last year, people were very shocked by what happened when you googled 'baby Jesus'. I won't go into specifics over the #1 result...just that it was obscene. And there is NO WAY that it was the #1 hit for 'baby Jesus'. Someone somewhere had set up a program that made it the #1 hit...and Google refused to remove it, saying it was truly the top result. That pissed me off, and that's when I asked =HC= to find us a new search engine. We now use Dogpile. Dogpile also has the added benefit of putting up a patriotic banner on Memorial Day, Armed Forces Day, Veteran's Day, etc. Google won't. So, I try very hard to have very little to do with Google. Yes, I know Dogpile uses Google as part of their search engine, but it's not the only one. I'm very happy with Dogpile. And I won't be moving to the new Google Blogger. I'll leave this one up for awhile, in case anything happens to my new spot on the Net. But please go check out my new place. You go. You go now!

Over the river...

2006-12-26T21:05:00.000-06:00

...and through the woods, over another river, and through some more woods, and over a few more creeks, and through some more backwoods... and finally Dawn from Overactive Imagination arrived at Mama Bear's home. What a sweetie! She brought Pumpkin Cream Cheese Cake (Mama Bear still wants the recipe!), and gingerbread people, and chocolates, and cookies...I guess just in case she got lost and needed some sustenance. But she made it fine, so we were able to have the goodies! Dawn also brought her beautiful daughter, which left Goob so tongue-tied that he couldn't say more than two coherent words all night. And her daughter had wonderful manners...a beautiful, well-bred Southern lady...the both of them! We enjoyed our visit so much. Thank you, Dawn, for venturing so far into the deep backwoods. We'll have to do it again!

It's NOT a 'Good Thing'

2006-12-25T20:19:00.000-06:00

We're back at the HoZ now. We had gone to our 'fake' Midnight Mass. 'Fake' because it's at 9:00PM. A couple of years ago, our parish voted on when to have midnight Mass. Since we have mostly old folks, midnight is now officially 9:00. We went to Mama Bear's house after Mass, had a late dinner, and stayed the night with her. Since we didn't even have a tree up at our house, and she did, it just made sense to open presents there. Anyway, Mama Bear had worked all day cleaning house and cooking, and didn't have time to make the beds in the guest bedroom where BR and I would be sleeping. She was very apologetic about it, and told her to relax. If somebody else is doing the cooking, the least I could do is make the bed in which I'll be sleeping. I got the sheets out of the dryer, and went in cheerfully to make the bed. Until I went in the guest room, that is. Then I realized why she was so apologetic. The pillows still had their tags on them. Martha Stewart tags. She was going to make me sleep with Martha Stewart!!! And here I've been thinking all these years that Mama Bear really liked me! I ripped those tags off the pillows. Yes, I know I risked the authorities coming in for my daring to take off those tags with all their printed warnings to not remove the tag. Even worse, it would be the Martha Stewart House Perfect Police. But I was not going to sleep with Martha Stewart, lol. And if you've never read "All I Want for Christmas is to Slap Martha Stewart", go here and read it. It's from her pre-prison days, but the message still holds true for today.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-23T23:49:00.000-06:00

Not all my readers believe in God. That's fine. However, I do think they all respect my belief in Christ, and aren't upset that I wish them a Merry CHRISTmas. I do believe in God and a man named Jesus Christ. And I believe he came to bring peace to men. (And no, I don't get upset by that that sentence doesn't say men AND women...I don't believe in this PC crap that tries to make society recognize everyone's individuality, or ethnic group, or sexual orientation, etc.!) Well, we don't always see that peace. And that's because society tries to reach out to everyone's individuality, ethnicity, or sexuality, etc. The only thing we all have in common is that we are ALL different from each other, but all are striving, in one way or another, to find peace. In trying to recognize everyone, PCers are creating more division and conflict between us. They say they want 'peace', but they down trod Christianity and its message of peace, saying that it's the divisive factor. Some of the greatest artwork of mankind was inspired by the Christian faith (Michelangelo, Raphael, Fra Angelico, and so on.) What kind of artwork do we have today, where Christianity is mocked? Crap. Crap. Crap. And oh yeah, a crucifix in urine, but I won't link to that. That artist sounds like someone who can't get past his teen angst. But all that is okay. I am definitely not the best Catholic/Christian by a long shot. But I have my faith, and through that faith, I wish for you to have peace. Peace of mind, peace of soul, peace of any kind. Sometimes that peace may only last for a few moments, and it's a long time before you find it again. But listen for a moment to this song:

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day I heard the bells on Christmas day Their old familiar carols play And mild and sweet the words repeat, Of peace on earth, good will to men. I thought how as the day had come, The belfries of all Christendom Had roll'd along th' unbroken song Of peace on earth, good will to men. And in despair I bow'd my head: "There is no peace on earth," I said, "For hate is strong, and mocks the song Of peace on earth, good will to men." Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: "God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, With peace on earth, good will to men." 'Til ringing, singing on its way, The world revolved from night to day, A voice, a chime, a chant sublime, Of peace on earth, good will to men!

That poem/song was written in by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in 1863. So this particular battle of secularism vs. the sacred isn't new. Maybe the commercialism is stronger than ever, but the search for inner peace still goes on. So I wish you many, many chances to find that peace with your family and friends. Every time your child hugs you, every time you make your parents smile, every time you hold the door for someone else, or let someone out in busy traffic...I wish you the happiness and contentment you feel in those moments. I believe those moments are sharing Christ's peace, even if you don't believe in God. Because Christmas is simply a celebration of birth, life, and love. And there can't be anything wrong with that. Merry Christmas to you all.

What's in a name?

2006-12-22T23:17:00.000-06:00

Each Christmas, I give my students a laminated card that has their name on it, along with the meaning of their name. Sometimes I have to do pretty serious and creative research to find a meaning for some of these names. And I have to be careful, of course, with the names that mean 'God has blessed' or some other religious aspect. But the kids love it. And every year when I make out the cards, I think of Brandy. Brandy was a student in my class my first year of teaching. She was a sweet girl, but had some serious emotional problems. Her father was a merchant mariner, so he was gone much of the time. Brandy's mother liked to party, so she would lock Brandy in a closet while she went out. The little girl developed a fear of storms (who wouldn't, being locked in a small, dark area with scary noises booming around you). I'm sure she suffered other abuse and neglect as well. By the time Brandy was in my class, mom was out of the picture, and dad had given up his merchant mariner job so he could be home and take care of his daughter. Well, I made out the cards with the kids' names and passed them out. Brandy took hers and read it...disbelief evident in her face. You see, I couldn't put 'alcoholic beverage' on her card. So I put 'Fiery Torch' as the meaning, as 'brand' is also an archaic term for a torch. Then she asked me if her name really meant that, instead of a drink. (I had the impression that her mother stressed the alcoholic drink.) I reassured Brandy that her name could also mean 'fire'. Her face lit up. And she kept that card in her desk, near the front edge, the rest of the year. The rest of her desk may have been a mess, but that card stayed neat. She would be a young woman now, in her mid-20s. I think of her from time-to-time, hoping that she's had a good life. Maybe she has her own children now, and picked out their names carefully and lovingly. She deserves a good life. And as Shakespeare wrote, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." I wish you well, Brandy-Rose.

Lovely Lunch

2006-12-21T21:20:00.000-06:00

Had a wonderful lunch with a new/old blogger friend today. Can't believe how I'm finding 'old' friends/acquaintances in the blogosphere. How does one come across people you know in the infinite variety of the internet? What is it about their blog that catches your attention, and keeps it, so that later you find out you know (or have known in the past) that person? And how do you find that particular blog to begin with? I can't even remember the first 'blog' I read. I do know that Rachel Lucas (I sure do miss her blog and her rants) and IMAO were among the first I read regularly. Then I found the Rottweiler. And then somehow I wandered over to the Bad Example family's property. Bou and I are from the same hometown (in high school she double-dated with my 'first' boyfriend). I dated Sticks' husband. (Umm, I'm seeing a pattern here, and not one I really wanted to see.) And the blogger with whom I had lunch today was someone I went to school with (she's welcome to identify herself in the comments if she wishes, but as always, I want to respect people's privacy. But I can say I never dated any one in her life! As far as I know, anyway!) But I didn't know who those people were when I started reading their blogs. Just little snippets of info here and there clued us in. Which can be scary. It shows that there really is no true privacy on the internet. Little bits of seemingly unrelated info can be put together to give away your identity. It makes me think of a time way back before the Internet, back when I was in the National Guard. I was a Medical Administrative Specialist, which meant I worked in the clinic. (Remember President Bush's 'fake but accurate' memos? When that story broke, I knew by looking at the letter that it was a fake. I had typed too many of those types of letters, so I knew that Rather's letters were forgeries.) Anyway, sometimes one of my duties was to notate medical records with immunization and HIV test results. Usually those results came in on one sheet of paper, with all the unit member's names and 'NEG' typed next to it on the 'HIV' section. Well I came in one weekend, and couldn't find that report. No biggie. I told the head enlisted person, and she said she'd take care of it. Then a Guard member came in for an appointment. It wasn't time for his physical, but he had received a notice saying he had to come in for an appointment at such-and-such a time. I went to pull his record, but it was no where to be found. Then another med admin person mentioned that the Lt. Col. (head of the clinic) had asked for that record earlier, and still had it in his office. *flash* The light bulb went off over my head...the missing HIV report, the missing medical record, the guy having no idea about why he had an appointment. I happened to be standing next to the head tech (I had been going to tell her about the guy waiting for the appointment) and I just turned to her and asked, "Does that guy have AIDS?" She grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty office, and began asking me how I could possibly know. She couldn't believe I figured it out from the info I had. I just happened to have stumbled across all the pieces to put together. One of the other med admin people could have been sent to look for the record, or sign him in, or been asked to enter the HIV info. But it really freaked out the higher-ups that I figured out the guy had HIV/AIDS. I do know they changed how they handled test results after that. I don't know what happened to that guy. But as far as I know, nobody else knew. And it could have been a 'false-positive'. For his sake, I hope so. But I'll never know, since I moved shortly after that. Not that it would have been any of my business, anyway. So, how did I get from a wonderful lunch to AIDS? Blech. But it was just a reminder to me that while the internet is a wonderful place, it can be a scary place, too. But I still had a good lunch and visit, thanks to the internet!

Feeling Narcissitic today...

2006-12-21T20:36:00.000-06:00

I saw this at Janet's Ordinary Life and at Cindi's place. I decided it was a neat way to think about one's life, so here it is. Feel free to tag yourself if you want. Rules – copy the list and bold face the items you’ve done. Wait for some comments then answer the questions. 01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink 02. Swam with wild dolphins 03. Climbed a mountain 04. Driven anything over 100 MPH 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid 06. Held a tarantula 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 08. Said “I love you” and meant it 09. Hugged a tree 10. Bungee jumped 11. Visited Paris 12. Watched a lightning storm at sea 13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise 14. Seen the Northern Lights 15. Gone to a huge sports game 16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 18. Touched an iceberg 19. Slept under the stars 20. Changed a baby’s diaper 21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 22. Watched a meteor shower 23. Gotten drunk on champagne 24. Given more than you can afford to charity 25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 27. Had a food fight 28. Bet on a winning horse 29. Asked out a stranger 30. Had a snowball fight 31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 32. Held a lamb 33. Seen a total eclipse of the moon. 34. Ridden a roller coaster 35. Hit a home run 36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 37. Adopted an accent for an entire day 38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 39. Had two hard drives for your computer 40. Visited all 50 states 41. Taken care of someone who was drunk 42. Had amazing friends 43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 44. Watched wild whales 45. Stolen a sign 46. Backpacked in Europe 47. Taken a road-trip 48. Gone rock climbing 49. Midnight walk on the beach 50. Gone sky diving 51. Visited Ireland 52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love 53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them 54. Visited Japan 55. Milked a cow 56. Alphabetized your CDs 57. Pretended to be a superhero 58. Sung karaoke 59. Lounged around in bed all day 60. Played touch football 61. Gone scuba diving 62. Kissed in the rain 63. Played in the mud 64. Played in the rain 65. Gone to a drive-in theater 66. Visited the Great Wall of China 67. Started a business 68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 69. Toured ancient sites 70. Taken a martial arts class 71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight 72. Gotten married 73. Been in a movie 74. Crashed a party 75. Gotten divorced 76. Gone without food for 5 days 77. Made cookies from scratch 78. Won first prize in a costume contest 79. Ridden a gondola in Venice 80. Gotten a tattoo 81. Rafted the Snake River 82. Been on television news programs as an “expert” 83. Got flowers for no reason 84. Performed on stage 85. Been to Las Vegas 86. Recorded music 87. Eaten shark 88. Kissed on the first date 89. Gone to Thailand 90. Bought a house 91. Been in a combat zone 92. Buried one/both of your parents 93. Been on a cruise ship 94. Spoken more than one language fluently 95. Performed in Rocky Horror 96. Raised children 97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour 99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 103. Had plastic surgery 104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived 105. Wrote articles for a large publication 106. Lost over 100 pounds 107. Held someone while they were having a flashback 108. Piloted an airplane 109. Touched a stingray 110. Broken someone’s heart 111. Helped an animal give birth 112. Won money on a T.V. game show 113. Broken a bone 114. Gone on an African photo safari 115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears 116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 118. Ridden a horse 119. Had major surgery 120. Had a snake as a pet 121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours - Good Drugs 123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states 124. Visited all 7 continents 125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 126. Eaten kangaroo meat 127. Eaten sushi 128. Had your picture in the newspaper 129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 130. Gone back to school 131. Parasailed 132. Touched a cockroach 133. Eaten fried green tomatoes 134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey 135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read 136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 137. Skipped all your school reunions 138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 139. Been elected to public office 140. Written your own computer language 141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 143. Built your own PC from parts 144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 145. Had a booth at a street fair 146. Dyed your hair 147. Been a DJ 148. Shaved your head 149. Caused a car accident 150. Saved someone’s life

The Gift of Life...

2006-12-21T19:05:00.000-06:00

That's what I did today...I gave the gift of life. I used to give blood regularly, until I moved to a rural town where there is no blood bank. But there was a blood drive today at our town's Civic Center from 12 - 6. When I got there, the good folks were having to set up more stations to process the blood donors. It seems that they only expected around 34 people for the entire day. When I got there around 2:00, I was number 47, and there were about 15 people behind me, and more coming in when I left. But nobody complained about the wait. In fact, it was almost like a party. All the donors waited patiently, joking around and telling stories. One of the best lines I heard came from a man who thought he was having a 'teachable moment' with his child. He had gotten in the wrong seat, and when he was redirected to the right one, he told his daughter, "See? Sometimes daddy makes a mistake." To which his cute little daughter replied, "Yeah, and sometimes you just tell a lie." Bwa-ha-ha! I finally made it to the front of the line, and had to go do the medical history and all that. Which includes getting pricked on the finger so they can test your blood for iron. (Gee, I hope I'm not rusty!!!) I hate that part worse than the needle for drawing blood from my arm. And then they squeeze your finger...ouch...to get the blood out. They drop some blood in a blue solution...whoops, my blood didn't drop fast enough. (I guess I don't have to worry about rust after all!) That means they have to spin my blood to do a further test for iron. Which means the mean lady squeezes my finger AGAIN! OUCH! My blood gets spun, tests out okay, so I'm on the the vein drain area! I was directed to a table to pick up the collection bag. There was a huge pile of them on the table, all waiting to be filled with blood. I walked up, and the lady behind it asked me what blood type I had. I told her I was A-, so she said, "Oh. Pick up that one on the end of the table. The one by itself." ...So what's wrong with my blood, that I get the poor little bag set off by itself??? If you don't like my blood, I'll just go offer it to a vampire...at least I'd get a kiss on the neck out of the deal! I finally make it to the actual donation area. I get prepped...the tech did a great job. I barely felt the needle stick. And my blood comes out pretty quickly, faster than the techs expect. I like to 'race' the other blood donors to see who can fill their bag the fastest. (Note to self...don't get seriously injured...I'd bleed to death before EMTs could get there to stop the bleeding...arrgghh) After I'm done donating, I get a snack...drinks and cookies and crackers and such. Yummy. The finished donors hang around awhile there, laughing and joking still. AND I got a cool long-sleeved t-shirt (Army Green!!!) and a chance to win a cruise and a pair of airline tickets. But most importantly, my blood has gone to help someone. What better gift to give at Christmas? If you have never donated before, please consider it. Typically donations decrease during the holidays because of folks being so busy. But there is also an increased need for blood as the increased traveling results more traffic accidents. Please. Give the gift of yourself. Give the gift of life.

Seen on a bumper sticker:

2006-12-19T22:19:00.000-06:00

Friends don't give friends fruitcakes.

A Christmas Meme....

2006-12-19T21:07:00.000-06:00

Teresa at Technicalities tagged me...and I'm only doing it because I have tons of other work that I'm really, really, really, wanting to avoid. 1.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Paper...it prolongs the other person getting into their gift. 2.Real tree or artificial? Neither. We AREN'T having a tree this year. 3.When do you put up the tree? See #2 4.When do you take the tree down? See #3 5.Do you like eggnog? Yummy! Bitterroot makes it with Southern Comfort (see this post!) 6.Favorite gift you received as a child? Star Wars album (yes, I was geeky even then!) I would fall asleep listening to it. Wish I still had it...it could be worth some money on ebay. 7.Do you have a nativity scene? No, we have a 'Beartivity': 8.Hardest person to buy for? Bitterroot - he has excellent taste, which means $$$$$$. 9.Easiest person to buy for? Buck, the youngest. He likes cheap stuff. 10.Mail or email Christmas cards? Neither. 11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Can't recall at the moment, but I'm sure it was from my ex-husband. 12.Favorite Christmas movie? The Grinch, and A Christmas Story 13.When do you start shopping? Uhh, haven't started yet, so I can't answer this one. 14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes, for a Dirty Santa party! 15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Mama Bear's Rum Cake. 16.Clear lights or colored on the tree? See #4 17.Favorite Christmas song? O, Holy Night 18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Thank you God, I can stay at home! 19.Can you name all of Santa’s Reindeer? Yes. Even Olive. 20.Angel on the tree top or a star? See #16 21.Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? When I was a kid, we could open one on Christmas Eve. Now, all on Christmas. 22.Most annoying thing about this time of year? Bitterroot's Bah Humbug attitude. I understand where it comes from, but I tell him he just needs to grab Christmas by the balls! 23.Do you have Jesus in your heart this Christmas? Not while I'm driving, I'm sorry to say. 24.What would you like for Christmas? The winning lottery ticket. Whom to tag....this particular meme is really making the rounds right now, so if you've been tagged, just ignore me. Besides, Bitterroot needs to tag some people, so I can't take all of them! I'll just do three: Lady Heather (I shouldn't do this to her...she has Christmas to get ready for, PLUS she's getting ready to move. Out of State. Now I feel guilty. Dawn at Overactive Imagination. Since she should have the time since classes are out right now. They are out now for you, aren't they? Oh, shoot, I'm feeling guilty again! Sticks at From Chaos to Serendipity. You haven't been too busy have you? Just because you haven't posted much lately doesn't mean you're busy. It just means that you don't have anything to post about. So I'm just helping you, right? Dammit, more guilt.

A lesson for kids:

2006-12-17T12:00:00.000-06:00

Be careful about bugging mom too much (or the teacher, as far as that goes!)
Bad Penguin - video powered by Metacafe

What a beautiful story...

2006-12-17T10:39:00.000-06:00

I saw this article today...it's about the Holocaust and survival...and the dignity of the human spirit...and destiny and faith...and a mother's love. I'm looking forward to seeing that story when it becomes a movie. I admire the Jewish people - their traditions, their faith, their fortitude in all they have suffered through the ages. =HC=/Bitterroot and I have always said if we weren't Catholic, we'd be Jewish. Our faith does come from the Jewish faith. After all, Jesus was a Jew. I made that remark once in front of some co-workers back when I was in college. (I was living in a highly Baptist-concentrated area of Texas at the time.) This little old black lady almost went into hysterics, saying: 'Jesus was NOT a Jew. He was a CHRISTIAN!!!' I never meant to cause her offense, and I made sure not to discuss religion around her after that. But Jesus was a Jew. The 'Last Supper' was a celebration of the Jewish Passover. And I have heard that people who practice Islam honor Jesus as a prophet, and his mother Mary is very revered also. She is supposedly mentioned in the Koran many more times than Mary is mention in the Bible. But how can that be, since Mary is a Jewish woman? Enough of the theological implications...my head hurts, lol. I don't know any Jewish people, but if any of you readers are, I'd like to wish you a 'Happy Chanukah'. I saw this blessing from the second night (I believe), and marvel in its universality in applying to us all: Blessed are you, Lord, our God, sovereign of the universe who has kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. (Amen) Amen, indeed.

Do you feel 'Special'?

2006-12-17T07:49:00.000-06:00

Neither do I, despite Time Magazine's naming you, me, and anyone else "using or creating content on the World Wide Web" for their 'Person of the Year'. Uhh, to quote from the movie "The Incredibles":

Bob: "They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity."

and

Helen Parr (to her son): "Everyone's special, Dash." Dash: "Which is another way of saying no one is."

As was stated in the article:

"If you choose an individual, you have to justify how that person affected millions of people," said Richard Stengel, who took over as Time's managing editor earlier this year. "But if you choose millions of people, you don't have to justify it to anyone."

I thought reporting was meant to be a means of bringing truth to the masses, and 'justifying' with facts found during an investigation. Instead, you've gone and wimped out...can't even take the time to single out an individual... And to be honest, I don't like being lumped in with the predators and perverts who trawl the internet looking for victims. Having had our family deeply affected by one of those deviant monsters, I don't want to share anything with them on any level. So thanks, but no thanks, Time Magazine. I neither need NOR want your 'honor'. I'm turning it down.

Our own heart, and not other men's opinions, forms our true honor. -Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I'm finally getting some Christmas spirit...

2006-12-15T21:48:00.000-06:00

I have mentioned recently that I have been involved in a major project that has taken up most of my time outside of work. At first it was just my daughter and me, and then Buck got involved also. But now it's about to draw to a close, so I can feel comfortable talking about it. It started out simply, really. My daughter enjoys acting. So she tried out for a local production of "The ~~Worst~~ Best Christmas Pageant Ever". If you have never read that story, please do yourself a favor and read it. It's not too long, and if that story doesn't get you into the spirit of Christmas, then you might as well be a farookin' liberal who doesn't believe in anything...I'd just have to quote to you from Mr. Dick at Big Dick's Place,

"Merry Christmas to all of you Goddamned Baby Jesus haters."

(WARNING: Mr. Dick's place is a very, very grown-up place...clicking on links may cause you some serious concern if you are of a sensitive nature.) Anyway, my daughter got a part in the play. Then the director asked me if I would like a role. I have always had this secret desire to act, but never had the guts to do it. And since I would have to be at the practices anyway, why not???? So Princess No and I were in this production together. Later on, I saw the need for a part that Buck would be perfect for, and the director put him in too. I also did a lot of the costuming. (I'm sure the director saw an opportunity for 'free' seamstressing, but I enjoy sewing, and these were fun costumes to create.) So despite the massive amount of time involved in this project, I had a blast. I have met some new people, and learned about the world of acting. I don't know that I'll ever want to be in another production, but I am so, so glad that I was in this one. This story is about these six awful kids, the Herdmans, who drink, smoke, whip up on kids, and cause general mayhem. They've never been to church before, the only 'safe' place to get away from them, until someone brags about the 'goodies' they get at church. Then the Herdmans barge in, and get all the major roles in the Christmas Pageant: Mary, Joseph, the Angel of the Lord, and the Three Wisemen. I don't want to spoil the end of the story if you haven't read it, but it's the funniest way of getting Christmas spirit. You'll literally laugh and cry with this story. A couple of funny incidences with our play:

Our original 'Imogene Herdman' (the eldest girl) really and truly was an 'Imogene Herdman'. On opening night, an hour before the show started, it was announced that the actress who played her part had been picked up for violating her probation. Seriously. We had to get two other 'Imogenes'...one for last weekend, and one for this weekend.

The littlest shepherd in the play is just the cutest boy imaginable. His mother also has a minor role in this play, and she often stands in the wings to give moral support to her son. Tonight she was there, hissing his name repeatedly as he was on stage. I was trying to figure out what she was doing, since it wasn't time for his lines yet. She must have seen my look, because she whispered, "He's picking his nose." She looks back at the stage then blurts out, "Oh. My. God. Now he's eating it!" Well, I'm too tired to think of any more. This play has pretty much taken up all my free time for the last month or so. But this play has helped me find my 'Christmas Spirit'. The best part of it is the laughter we hear from the audience. It's a wonderful feeling to be a part of bringing the joy of Christmas to others. I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet, and I still probably won't put up a tree. But those two things aren't really what it's all about. Christmas is ultimately the story of a man who came to die for us...No greater love... And to quote the venerable Dr. Suess:

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more."

Here's to all of you out there...I wish you the joy of Christmas, and most importantly, stop and take the time to enjoy it. Maybe even read "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" with your family. But take the time to simply be with them instead of rushing around trying to make it the 'best' Christmas ever. The 'Best' Christmas was the first one...ain't no way you can top it. But you can take time to appreciate the love of your family and friends. Merry Christmas!

A Reindeer decoration for Bou...

2006-12-14T17:32:00.000-06:00

Poor Blog-Mama Bou...her Christmas spirit is being spread thin. Even her reindeer decorations are in bits and pieces. I have the solution for her. Just add some red light bulbs and voila! A dead reindeer displayed in all its redneck glory! There now, don't you feel better with the worry about the dead reindeer gone? And just think...it'll probably piss off the neighbor with all the awful inflatable decorations. That alone ought to brighten your day!

I knew it!!!

2006-12-14T15:27:00.000-06:00

You can't tell me that I'm the only one who saw this picture of Pelosi and didn't immediately think of this one: And then I next thought of this song.

Too much Christmas spirit...

2006-12-13T23:20:00.000-06:00

Well, I may not have any Christmas spirit, but my students at school certainly do. Today, they just wouldn't shut up or stay seated. Lots of impulsive behavior. So, I tried some behavior modifications. I have written the words 'Christmas Party' up on the board. Each letter represents 5 minutes for our party next Wednesday. If the class acts up, I erase a letter, and 'zip' 5 less minutes for the party. I tried to be patient, but finally had to chew some butt, emphasizing the need to stay seated, raise your hands, and wait to be called upon before saying anything. And I erased away 5 minutes of the party. I knew I had made a good impression come lunch time. I was sitting and enjoying my lunch (the cafeteria makes GREAT fried chicken). I happen to look up and the six kids at the far end of the table all shoot their hands as straight and high into the air as they can go, not saying a word, but looking at me intently. Really intently. I go to see what they need. And I am greeted with, "Mrs. Who, Johnny just threw up!" Yeah, it was gross...but they weren't jumping up and yelling it across the cafeteria either! Please, dear God, just let me make it through next week! And whoever thought that having students in school until 4 days before Christmas was a good idea...well, you need something worse than just coal in your stocking. If I weren't so worn out from having to cover myself in Germ-X, I'd think of something...

The truth about Santa...

2006-12-13T22:35:00.000-06:00

Over at Ack!Thbbbt! place, Roses had this post up about her son not believing in Santa anymore. LemonStand also lamented in the comments that only 1 of hers still believes. Ladies, it's far better that your kids just think that Santa doesn't exist, rather than see the REAL truth about Santa!

Newborns can be so fussy....

2006-12-12T05:37:00.000-06:00

Poor =HC=. He just gets 'born' yesterday, (first post here), and then finds out the comments aren't working right. He gets the ~~joy~~ frustration so many of us have had in playing around with html or whatever it is!! He seems to get that problem fixed, and then this scenario happens: 9:34 Computer working slowly. Has difficult time 'playing' on his site. Reboots machine. 9:39 Computer STILL working slowly. Asks others (Mrs. Who and Eraserhead) if their computers are acting up. They are, so =HC= goes to reboot 'the box' where the miraculous Internet enters our humble abode. 9:46 Computer still has difficult time with the 'net. 9:47 Reboots machine AGAIN. 9:55 Can we say slower than a turtle? 9:56 Calls our Internet Provider (IP). Gets busy signal. =HC= groans. 9:57 Calls IP again. Pushes wrong button, slams phone down. 10:00 Calls IP again. Gets through to a recording, asking for more buttons to be pushed. 10:03 Runs around screaming, "I can't get to my blog!!! Why did you ever do this to me, Mrs. Who???" 10:06 Calls IP again. Gets a real person this time, who says, "Oh,yeah, that was reported about 2 hours ago. We should have someone here to work on it in 30 minutes or so. Check back in about 2 hours." 10:08 =HC= grips phone receiver in both hands, smashing into his forehead. He starts screaming at our IP provider, quoting a memorable line from Rachel at Pereiraville at this post: "you s*(k, you s*(k, you f*(k!ng s*(k!!!!" 10:09 Thinking discretion is the better part of valor, Mrs. Who slinks off to bed before =HC= can blame her some more. 1:25 =HC= finally comes to bed, but with a smile on his face because the internet FINALLY came back on, and he was able to check on his blog. (Damn....I think I've created a monster!)

It's a boy!!

2006-12-10T22:03:00.000-06:00

I mean, it's my husband. I mean, =HC= is now deciding to start his own blog. Does this mean I'm my own mother-in-law now???? And Harvey is the blog-father...the incestuous nature of the Bad Example family prevails today, since that makes Harvey a blog-greatgrandfather of his own blog-son. (And since I live in Alabama, that makes perfect sense for familial relationships!) And Blog-Mama Bou, you certainly don't look old enough to be a grandmother! Y'all having been asking and encouraging him to do this, so here it is: http://frictionandharmony.com/ He didn't want to be 'HubbyCubby' on his own blog, so he has chosen 'Bitterroot'; here's the story behind that name. So go over and welcome him! I'm looking forward to his stories...and be sure to check out the pictures from his misspent youth...isn't he cute (can't you tell I'm a proud Mama!) I love you sweetie! ***************************************************** FAIR WARNING: Adult language and content over at =HC='s place. As always, he is a gentleman around me...and my blog. Which is part of the reason he needed his own space! ************************************************************ Wait, wait, wait, wait!!! My labor and delivery still isn't over, I guess! =HC= is working on the commenting...he's trying to make it easier on you folks without having to wait on seeing what you've written. You can still go over and comment, but you might have to wait until his spam filter 'recognizes' you. It may take up to a day for it to recognize his new users. But be patient...he's just a newborn, after all! And it'll be worth it!

Sunday Funnies - Mom's Letter to Santa

2006-12-10T08:40:00.000-06:00

Dear Santa I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years. Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone. On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers.It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws' house seem just like mine. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight. Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet. Yours Always...Mom. P.S. - One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa. ************************************************************************************ But as we all know, Mom is really Santa. And do you know anyone who stayed up to watch for Santa? I bet you don't, and here's why.

Christmas Spirit

2006-12-09T12:29:00.000-06:00

I'm working very hard to get some Christmas spirit. I feel it coming closer, but then work or life steps in and BLAM! the spirit is gone. But I know it's there. I haven't been able to get 'out' much between work and another project I have going on. So I haven't really been out and about to see any Christmas lights or go shopping. (And since I work until Dec. 21st this year, it means I'll be shopping in the last few days before Christmas...ugghh! Maybe I'll get some bargains, though.) When I was growing up, a church over in Pensacola, St. Anne's, used to do a spectacular Christmas light display. They had an area set up like an old Western town that would have a 'Round-Up' in early October. There would be food booths and games, a tv or film star or music group would come, and they would have a 'shoot-out' in the dusty streets between the good guys and the bad guys. That is, until the PC police came in and they couldn't have the shoot-out anymore. *grumble* But the church would use the money raised from the round-up to put on a fabulous Christmas display. The church grounds would be lit (including the pecan trees all being lit up by white lights), and the 'town' buildings would all have displays in them, sponsored by local businesses. My favorite disply was one they had after 9-11. One of the buildings had two racks of votive candles of red, white, and blue arranged in an American flag. Santa was kneeling before the candles, lighting one, and praying. So very moving. But neither the Round-Up or Christmas Lights program are there anymore. So where do I turn for the spirit of Christmas? Of course, being a teacher, I turn to books. I would like to share some of my favorites with you. I read them to my students. And you know what? They get it. They get the meaning of Christmas. The spirit of love and kindness. Of course they love getting their presents...but to them, it goes hand in hand with the love of Christmas. So I guess I find my Christmas spirit in books and my students. They remind me of the 'good' that exists in our world, despite all the media does to show us only the bad. So here are some of my favorite Christmas books: The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey by Susan Wojciechowski, illustrated by P.J. Lynch - The link does an excellent summary of the book. The pictures are beautifully done. My students can identify with the young boy in the story, who shows kindness, sweetness, and even patience. The Crippled Lamb by Max Lucado - It's about a lamb named Joshua who is not like the other sheep because of his crippled leg. He is very sad when he gets left behind when the shepherds take the sheep to a greener valley. His friend the cow tells him that God has a plan for everyone. Joshua finds his purpose when he is able to curl up next to the baby Jesus to keep him warm...which he couldn't have done if he had been able to go with the other sheep. Kids are very sympathetic to 'being different', and love how Joshua the lamb is able to 'help'. Cajun Night Before Christmas - by James Rice - This a Cajun version of the traditional 'Night Before Christmas'. I use this story with the traditional one as a 'compare and contrast' lesson. The Cajun version is also written in such a way to help you 'sound' Cajun as you read it. The link has pictures of the pages so you can see that text. The kids especially love that Santa's reindeer are actually gators! The Littlest Christmas Angel illustrated by Paul Micich - I have a copy of the book in the link, but there are many illustrated versions of this story originally told in a radio broadcast back in the 40s. The littlest angel in this story is 4 1/2 years old...the age of my little brother when he died. In the story the littlest angel is always in trouble, dirty, and causing a ruckus. But in the end, he gives a wonderful gift to the new-born baby Jesus. I can never make it through this story without tearing up for thinking of my brother, but my students react so beautifully, trying to comfort me. And my favorite Christmas story: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson - This story is absolutely hilarious. The Herdmans are the worst kids in school history. They lied, drank, smoked, stole, and set things on fire. And then they get involved with the church Christmas Pageant. I absolutely LOVE this story. If you've never read it, please do. Our local community theater is putting it on, and our family is going. There now. I'm already feeling better about Christmas. I hope you will enjoy these books, if you get a chance. Are there any Christmas stories y'all enjoy? Please share them in the comments if you do. I'm always looking for good books to share with my students. UPDATE: Several of my readers (who are way smarter than me) seem to think that St. Anne's Christmas Lights are still going on. I will check with the Mouth of the South (otherwise known as my mom - as my bil says, if you want to get the news out, you can telegraph, telephone, or tell-a-Stella...my mom doesn't think it's too funny!) But being the good little Church lady that she is, she'll know for sure. UPDATE 2: The Church Lady has spoken. No Christmas Lights at St. Anne's since Hurricane Ivan. (I hate that I have to specify WHICH hurricane...it used to be you could just say 'the storm', and everyone knew what you meant.) Damn hurricanes...there goes my Christmas spirit AGAIN!

Potty mouth, potty mouth!

2006-12-07T22:42:00.000-06:00

I had a hit recently from Saudi Arabia. I wonder if the searcher was Muslim. Because I would have to question their intent. From what I understand, the Islamic people look down on us Americans for our lack of morals. (And since they're judging us by the celebs from Hollywood, I can't say I blame them!!!!) But their search? 'Men and Women in the Bathroom'. Yeah. Real pure stuff there. (And for the record, MY post that came up for that search is NOT about carnal stuff. It was a joke about the different ways men and women perform their daily ablutions the bathroom.) And Harvey, ablutions is NOT a dirty word. So go back to reading your magazine...and I won't ask what kind of reading material you have!

Taking the time to remember...

2006-12-07T21:57:00.000-06:00

Whew...have I really not posted since Sunday? I have been so busy. I still have no Christmas decorations up. My children haven't yet gone Mama Bou's sons' route yet...besides with my two eldest boys, the decorations they'd pin up would look more like this one. Well, from frivolity on to solemnity. Today (it's still before midnight as I write this, so I'm getting it in under the wire) is the 65th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. That's before even my mother was born. So why does it still have an impact today? Because it should. Because it matters. Because it shows America at its greatest. The American society of that time didn't try to take time to 'understand' the enemies' culture and feelings. They shook themselves off, stood up straight, and simply did what needed to be done. And when the fighting was over, they came home and did what needed to be done there. And they certainly didn't come home and denigrate each other. I had the honor of meeting a Pearl Harbor survivor a few years ago. I had been on a road trip, and had been following behind a car with 'Pearl Harbor' license plates. I said a silent, thankful prayer for the older man and what he had been through. A few miles later, we both happened to pull off at the same rest stop. I approached him to tell him 'thank you'. We shook hands, and he told me briefly of his experience. His ship had been hit, but was in shallow water and didn't completely sink. It was so intriguing to watch the play of emotions across his face...pride in being a sailor, gratitude for his life, and sorrow for those friends he had lost. All of those was wrapped up in a kind and sweet gentleman. Truly, he and the men like him are the 'greatest generation'. And the survivors are fewer and fewer in numbers. And that's why we can't forget. Whatever greatness we have are because of men (and women) like this sweet old man. They didn't give up, they didn't ask the rest of the world what they should do, they didn't let the enemy dictate the battle. I found the story below on a National Geographic site:

My father, Martin W. Bender - MM2, was on the USS CALIFORNIA on December 7, 1941. He had been assigned to her since 1936. During those years he played Football & Baseball on the USS California’s teams competing with all of the other Battleships in the Pacific Fleet for the Iron Man Trophy. The first Iron Man originated in 1919. It was originally known and inscribed as the "Navy Department General Excellency Trophy for Capital Ships of the Pacific Fleet." Because of the trophy's design, it was soon nicknamed the "Iron Man Trophy. Only Battleships and the Lexington & Saratoga Aircraft Carriers could compete for this trophy. Ships fielded teams in Baseball, Football, Basketball, Swimming, Rowing, Boxing, etc. At the end of a certain time period the ship with the highest combined score in all sports would be awarded the Iron Man. Even after the fleet was transferred to Hawaii in 1940 they continued to compete for the Iron Man. The USS California won it for the last time in 1939. When my father joined the Navy in 1936 he went with his best friend from high school. They both competed on the USS California’s Baseball & Football teams. On December 7th they were both on duty in the engine room when the Japs struck. Their job was to get the engines on line and ready to move the ship if needed. In addition they manned the pumps that would provide pressurized air to the main guns. After the first torpedo hit they lost communication with the bridge. My father went to the bridge to inform the Captain that they had been successful in building up steam and the ship was ready to go. He was sent back down to the engine room and conveyed the message. By this time the engine room was flooding and needed to be evacuated. His best friend wasn't there - he had gone to the compressor room to man the compressor to ensure that it would continue working so the main guns would continue working. His last words were "This is my station and I will stay and give them air as long as the guns are going". Robert R. Scott was awarded the Medal of Honor posthumously. He was 26 years old at the time. My father passed away in November 2002. He never spoke of the war - only of the days he and Scotty played ball and competed for the "Iron Man". I did not find out about Scotty until 1981. I was in Hawaii with an Army buddy of mine and I called my dad who lived in Long Beach - I wanted to stop by and see him on my way back to Philly. He said "You're in Pearl? Pick up some flowers and put them on grave number so and so." When I asked why he just said, "Take care of it." I bought some flowers and my buddy and I went up to the "Punch Bowl" and asked the people in the office where grave number so and so was. They told me that the sailor had been moved to Arlington Cemetery. With that we asked the name of the person who was buried there - she told us that we could read about him in the showcase. She gave us his name and then we read the story of Robert R. Scott. I called my dad back and told him and he just said "Oh? Put the flowers on so and so's grave" and hung up. When I got to Long beach and saw him I asked about Scotty. At first he wasn't too talkative but then when it was right he told me. It was the first time I saw my father cry. It wasn't until after my father died that I found out about his Naval career. Through various people and his military records I found out he had been assigned to the USS Astoria (CV34) in January'24. While on the Astoria he fought at the Battle of Coral Sea in May '42 with TF-17, Battle of Midway in June "42 again with TF-17, and then at the Savo Island where the USS Astoria was sunk with three other ships on Aug 9, 1942. He was picked up by the USS Helm and transferred to the USS O'Brien (DD415) on Aug 15, 1942 only to be on her when she was hit by a torpedo from the Jap Sub I-15 while in TF-18 with the USS WASP, which was also sunk. The USS O'Brien made it back to Espiritu Santo where he was transferred to the USS Aaron Ward (DD483. From early October 1942 until November of 1942 he was in several surface engagements in support of Guadalcanal until she was hit 9 times by surface fire and stopped dead in the water on 13 November. She was towed in by a Navy Tug to Tolagi for repair. He was on the Aaron Ward on April 7, 1943 when she hit by Jap air planes. She sank while being towed, again to Tolagi by the Navy tugs Ortolan & Vireo. After that he was assigned to Service Squadron 10 until he could take it no longer and hitched up to the USS Hancock in September 1944. He came home by for Christmas of 1945 to San Francisco. The Hancock earned 9 battle stars during that time. I learned all of this from old shipmates and his service records after he died. He never spoke of the war. -Michael W. Bender

(Michael Bender is also writing a book about these experiences. He has a contact e-mail address in the National Geographic link above.) ************************************************************************************ So tonight I sit and reflect. I offer a prayer for those who lost their lives on December 7, 1941. I also offer a prayer for those who were there and survived but have since passed on. And I offer my humble gratitude to those who survived but are still here. Thank you.

There is hope...

2006-12-05T21:12:00.000-06:00

I have a new student (a really sweet and respectful boy.) His mom is in the military. (That's a new trend I've noticed in the past two or three years. More and more of my students have moms on active duty.) On his first day of school, this mom was unable to bring her son in, so she came during her lunch break to check on him and to make sure I knew how he went home. We happened to be eating lunch. She stopped to introduce herself to me (I was eating at the teachers' table. I rarely, if ever, sit with my kids. Not very 'caring' of me, but the manners of kids these days...I can't handle watching someone ~~talk~~ laugh, spit, or yell with food in his mouth...or mashing their fries and then sucking them up through a straw....or tearing the foil that wrapped their burger and making 'grills' to put on their teeth...or folding the cardboard fry container into a cell phone shape and holding the greasy paper against their face and hair...eating pudding with their fingers....ohh, you get the picture.) Anyway, this mom's son didn't notice her right away. Well, probably because my whole class was talking and laughing. They were extremely loud. I told her to go over and see him, that he would love to have mom visit. So mom (in her uniform) went over to see her son. When they saw her, all my students. stopped. talking. All eyes were riveted on her. I don't know if she realized it, but those kids were impressed by her. The uniform of a member in the United States military still commands respect. There is hope for the future after all.

HC's "Home-Brewed" Sunday Funnies

2006-12-03T05:32:00.000-06:00

*** Feline "AA" *** PK: Hello. I'm PoopKat. And I'm an alcoholic. This is my first meeting. All: Hello PoopKat. PK: It all started when my master [=HC=] gave me a taste of his eggnog with Southern Comfort™. He offered me a drop on his finger. I didn't like it at first - it smelled funny, and it was wet and messy so I backed away. But he looked like he was enjoying it, so I knew I wanted some. I licked a drop off his finger the second time he offered and... It. Was. Heaven. I had to have more. So he dunked another finger for me to lick. I was enthralled by the taste. It's not like the milk they give me - not even like the chocolate milk I've tried. This was... so much more. [PoopKat pauses to stretch and then starts 'bathing'] Moderator: PoopKat. We're listening. PK: Oh. So you are. As I was saying, I wanted more, but the Man just ignored my pleading eyes and gentle paw-taps. So I began sharpening my claws on his chair. He said "NO!" and shooed me away. Moderator: Get to the point, PoopKat. Why are you here? PK: The Man finally relented and gave me more. A LOT more. He gave me a saucer with the eggnog and said, "are you so sure you want it Kitty?" I'm pretty sure he's the Devil. Moderator: And you took it? PK: Not at first. Really, I didn't want to. I walked around the saucer and sniffed it. It was pungent and sweet, but I acted... indifferent. I waited for him to walk away and then... And then I... Moderator: Go on, PoopKat. We're here for you. PK: I DRANK IT ALL! Every last damned DROP! I licked the saucer clean and I. wanted. MORE. I didn't know what was happening to me - I felt funny all over. I meowed. I meowed Louder, and then LOUDER still... The Man had left the room, but when he came back, he still had his glass of eggnog with him, but it was almost gone! I panicked! I raced to his feet and rubbed against his ankles, purring as loudly as I could. I meowed - but it came out funny... It was almost a screech. The Man laughed at me... Told me to go away. Attendee #1: [wide-eyed] So what did you do? PK: Whatever I could - I had to get more. I HAD to get the rest of the eggnog away from the Man! I meowed, I purred, I did everything I could, and then... I sharpened his claws on his thigh. All: *gasp* PK: I know - I went too far. The Man yelped in pain and swatted at me, but I was undeterred. With him distracted from his glass, I knew I had to act quickly! I vaulted myself onto his desktop, and standing astride his keyboard, I put my whole head into the sacred vessel of magical eggnog, but it was... of no use. My eyes bulged and my tongue flapped futilely in mid-air just an inch above the bottom of the glass. The Man, who was no longer cussing at me started to laugh. I had no control of myself at the time, but now that I realize what I was doing... how I was acting... It's just so humiliating. Moderator: We know, PoopKat. We've all been there at some time or another. We're with you. PK: But it didn't end there... Attendee #2: It didn't? How much worse did it get? PK: I was crazed! I simply couldn't help myself. I knew that I couldn't reach the eggnog with my head in the glass, but if I could just... somehow... My paws. I realized I could reach in with my paws, dunk them in the last vestiges of that intoxicating delight, sopping it up with the fur between my toes and then... Lick them clean. It was bliss. I did it again and again as the Man just stood there and laughed at me. Or maybe he was crying. His eyes were wet and he was grabbing his middle like it hurt... Moderator: He should have called for an intervention! How cruel can he be? PK: Very cruel. After he was able to stand upright again, he took the glass away from me, and then he put me in the laundry room and shut the door. The room was spinning wildly, and I meowed over and over again as loudly as I could to get someone to make it stop. Or maybe I just wanted more eggnog - I can't remember. I played wildly with my toys for a while, until the Dog came in for the night because it was so cold outside. Instead of just giving her dirty looks as usual, I let her chase me. And instead of sleeping on the Iron shelf like I usually do when Dog spends the night... I... I... Moderator: What is it, PoopKat? What happened? PoopKat: *sobbing* I woke up with the Dog!! All: *muttered gasps and whispers* Moderator: Oh Dear God... =HC=

Sunday Funnies - Bah, Humbug style...

2006-12-03T00:04:00.000-06:00

I just can't get into the Christmas spirit. We don't get off until 4 days before Christmas. What's up with that??? Do you really think the kids will be in any mood to learn anything the week before Christmas??? With a week like that, all I can say is that there better some kind of alcoholic beverage in my stocking this year. And because we don't get off until right before Christmas, I haven't even wanted to put up a tree. My tree usually comes down the day after Christmas anyway....we've been staring at them in the stores since before Halloween anyway. Enough is enough. So what would be the point of having a tree up for only 5 days? And don't even get me started on these new and improved inflatable yard decorations...I've even seen a freakin' merry-go-round one. What the hell is that about...now everyone can act like a redneck with junk in the yard for Christmas? So, since I'm in the mood I am, here's today's Sunday Funnies: Top 10 Things that Sound Dirty at Christmas 10. Did you get any under the tree? 9. I think your balls are hanging too low. 8. Check out Rudolph’s Honker! 7. Santa’s sack is really bulging. 6. Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath. 5. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake? 4. I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy. 3. From here you can’t tell if they’re artificial or real. 2. Can I interest you in some dark meat? 1. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. ************************************************************************************* And while Christmas is about the Light of the World coming to us, somehow I don't think that's what these people meant. Or these people (for goodness sake...the Macarena???) Or these people. (Although this particular light display is still one of my favorites. Probably because of the great music by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.) Coming soon: Mrs_Who's rant on Christmas not being Christmas anymore.

Go, Navy!

2006-12-02T23:50:00.000-06:00

You beat Army (and earlier beat the Air Force, too)! My Granddaddy would have been so proud!

Whatcha hidin' for?

2006-12-01T22:13:00.000-06:00

Hey, you. Yeah, you. The one who comes by the HoZ almost daily via a proxy site. I'm very pleased you decided to drop by. And while I appreciate every loyal reader, I'm just wondering why you feel the need to hide. Although nothing is really 'hidden' on the internet, even behind multiple proxies. But whatever the reason, I'm glad you stopped by.

So Zathras talks to dirt. Sometimes talks to walls or talks to ceilings, but dirt is closer. Dirt used to everyone walking on it. Just like Zathras, but we have come to like it. It is our role. It is our destiny in the Universe. So you see, sometimes dirt has insects in it. Zathras like insects. Not so good for conversation, but much protein for diet.

-Zathras, B5, Conflicts of Interest

Happy Birthday, =HC=

2006-12-01T12:00:00.000-06:00

Today is the birthday of the most wonderful man in the world...and I'm the one who receives the gift. He fills my heart with a happiness I hadn't known was possible. One of my most contented moments of the day happens after I hit the snooze alarm and curl back up against his warmth. We have this code for 'I love you'...three squeezes of the hand, with the other person squeezing back four times for 'I love you, too'. Sometimes that code is transmitted through tapping each other's feet as we lay half-asleep. We've had some tough times. But he is there for me. Always. So happy birthday, sweetheart. I can't give you that trip to Italy or Ireland right now. But your love has taken me beyond anything I could hope for. Thank you for the gift of you. You're my best friend.

Goin' Commando

2006-11-30T16:25:00.000-06:00

If a woman goes without the bottom half of her under-clothing, but still wears a brassiere, is that considered half-commando? Or is it something else? I'm just curious. Ain't saying I've ever done that, of course. But the thought crossed my mind today for some strange reason. ;o)

I'm worth how much????

2006-11-29T20:48:00.000-06:00

Earlier this past summer I was sued for a $1,000,000.00. It was for an accident which was not my fault, but the passenger in the car of the at-fault driver decided to get greedy and sue everyone. So while it was daunting to face a legal battle containing the $1 million amount, it was kind of fun walking around saying, "I'm worth a million bucks!" It wasn't too big of a deal, other than the worry factor. But I have insurance with a very reputable company, so I didn't have too much to worry about. However, the attorney had stated that he had offered a settlement, but that he didn't think the other attorney would take it because they were wanting lots of money. I think my attorney was looking forward to going to court, because he had me: a former member of the military, who was also a teacher and a regular church-goer, who had done nothing wrong and never even had a speeding ticket. And the other side had...a white trash money grubber who was probably hoping court was more like the Jerry Springer show. I got a letter from the attorney today. They took a settlement. For $1,000.00. And since the opposing attorney will get 1/3 to 1/2 of that, the bimbette won't get much of anything. While I'm glad it's over, I hate that the woman got anything at all. There was no admission of guilt on my part or anything, but still.... And if I hadn't had good insurance, how hard and expensive would the legal battle have been for me? And I hate that now I'm only worth $1,000.00. *sigh*

Today in Mrs. Who's class

2006-11-29T16:50:00.000-06:00

One big rule in my classroom is 'No Digging in the Trashcan'. You wouldn't believe what kind of stupid things the kids will play with in there. They might see a broken pencil and go 'Hey, I can write with that', and dig in with all the wadded up paper towels, used tissues, and who knows what else. That just grosses me out. And kids don't need to be touching all those germy things. So I've always had this rule that since no one in my class works as 'sanitation engineers', NOBODY goes in the trash. During Math today, I had a student ask me about a certain page. He had been absent the day we did it, but since he had already done other work showing me he knew the concept, I told him he didn't have to do it. He goes off to throw it in the trashcan. I knelt next to another desk to help student who was struggling. Next thing I know, the first kid's math page is stuck in front of my face. A little blonde cherub is waving the paper wildly, exclaiming, "Mrs. Who, Mrs. Who, Kid B just threw this in the trash. He isn't doing his work!!" Strike one: Interrupting when I'm working with another student! Strike two: Tattling! Strike three: Digging in the trash! Little cherub looked up at me expectantly, hoping to have Kid B read the riot act. Instead, I told her since she was so interested in the math page that she had to go in the trash to get it, she could do her assigned page PLUS that one. The tears filled her eyes as she said, "But I don't want to do it!" I explained that she made three wrong choices, and should have kept her eyes on her own work. I gave her the choice of doing the paper or 'moving a color' (which would be reflected on her behavior report that must be signed by parents each night). She chose to do the extra math work. I just hope she remembered to wash her hands afterward.

That's what you get for eavesdropping...

2006-11-29T16:15:00.000-06:00

Earlier today, =HC= and I were having our own conversation. We were complaining about the new cat. We HATE having a litterbox in the house, but until we get PC (Poop Cat) fixed, we can't throw her butt outside. This little cat defecates more than all the other animals combined...(BC, the other cat; the fish; and the Golden Retriever). Seriously...we can't figure out how so much sh** can come out of one little kitten. So =HC= and I are having a conversation, and Goob decides to jump in... =HC=: I could barely stand ironing my shirt this morning, because of that damn litter box. I felt like the smell was seeping into my shirt as I ironed it. Me: Well, be sure to have Buck change it when he gets in from school. =HC=: I'll be glad when she's fixed. Me: Yeah, we need to get her fixed soon. (this is where Goob jumps in) Goob: Hey, give me a scalpel and $20, and I'll fix the cat for you! Me: No, give me $20 and a rusty razor blade, and I'll fix you. =HC=: No, honey, you don't need that. All you need is a hammer. Me: I guess we'll need to be sure to get a 'ball'peen hammer! Goob: Uhhh, I'm going back to reading my book. Don't you just love it when enlightenment hits???

It's a small blogosphere after all...

2006-11-27T21:55:00.000-06:00

The blogosphere is not as big as you think it is. Just recently, I found out that a fellow Bad Example family member was someone I knew way, way back. Won't say who it is (unless she doesn't mind), but a long, long time ago, I dated the guy who would one day become her ex-husband (this was before they were married, just so you know!!) I guess we were just setting the early stages of the BE family. Heh! I have been laughing about this since I found out. Life can be so strange. UPDATE: Well, since Sticks already posted about it at her place (From Chaos to Serendipity...I just love that name), I guess she doesn't want to remain anonymous after all. We are going to have to get together for drinks one day!

For the 'locals':

2006-11-24T19:00:00.000-06:00

I remember taking this drive many times in my wild teen days. I know several of my readers also have 'Pensacola' connections, and might recognize it. Although it has changed quite a bit since I was a cutie in a pink bikini heading for the beach. *sigh* I got pulled over one time right after the toll gate you see in this video. As a teen, we used to 'race' the light after paying the toll, trying to get past it before it turned from red to green. The lights are gone now (maybe because of the hurricanes?). Anyway, as soon as I pulled away, the cop behind me turned on his lights. I pulled over, and he asked me to step behind the van (yes, I drove a van in those days...and not one of those wimpy mini-vans, either! A full size, Detroit-made box of steel!!) The cop kept on asking me where I had been at such and such a time. I was completely befuddled, but kept politely answering his questions. I thought initially he was pulling me over for trying to 'run' the toll-gate light. Finally, he told me that my van matched a description of one in a hit-and-run. He started walking around the van, I guess examining it for damage. At that moment, my heart jumped into my throat. Between my mother's driving and mine, that poor old van had plenty of dings and dents. I just knew I was about to be taken away!!! (We won't mention the 'headstone' incident I had with that van in a graveyard!) The cop finally finishes his walk around the van, and lets me go. He says that by my demeanor he knew I hadn't been involved in the hit-and-run. (Although the thought did cross my mind...'in that u-turn back before the bridge, did I bump into someone and not realize it????) Anyway, I thought some of you might like that 'drive' down memory lane. And I have a picture of me in that pink bikini. =HC= has it now. (We didn't know each other then...he says that's a good thing, because we probably would have had 12 children by now!! lol!)

The Day After...

2006-11-24T10:49:00.000-06:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving...I hope y'all did too. My sister and her family joined us at Mama Bear's home. My sister's kids are several years younger than mine. Her daughter is just two, and is the prettiest little girl...long, curly brown hair, and the biggest, brownest eyes. When she wants something, she clasps her little hands together, and looks up at you with those eyes, and says, "Pweese, pweese, pweese?" Miss Brown Eyes is so cute, that you give her whatever it is she wants. Her favorite toy is a little stuffed rabbit named 'Cat-Cat'. She WON'T let you call it a 'rabbit'. At one point, Eraserhead (who is wonderful with children...), was playing with his cousin. He had her 'Cat-Cat', and she wanted it back. "Pweese???" Eraserhead held it just out of reach, when he was grabbed around the shirt collar by Miss Brown Eye's daddy....her six-foot three, around 300 pound daddy. Daddy was laughing, but also giving Eraserhead a hard time. "Are you taunting my daughter?" Little Miss Brown Eyes ran up to the both of them, and with her dimpled little hands, pushed them apart, as if to say, "No fighting!" We all smiled at the sweetness of the moment...isn't she cute, not wanting them to 'fight'. Then she grabbed Cat-Cat away from Eraserhead, swung her arm away from her body, and the whacked Eraserhead in the stomach with all her might. Then she gave Daddy a look that said, "I can take care of myself!" You go, girl! We had a great dinner. Mama Bear (=HC='s momma) is an awesome cook. Everything was just so, so good. Her Polish turkey is scrumptious, as is her cornbread stuffing (with all the meat and vegetables in it, it's a meal in itself!) My sister brought her banana pudding. Except that she had run out of vanilla extract, and used almond extract instead. Different, but still good. We had 12 people in all, and almost enough desserts for each person to have their own whole pie, cake, or pudding! But I was good. I knew what was coming, so I only ate 'regular' portions. Because after my sister and her family left, =HC= made his 'Mississippi Mud' beverage, mentioned in the comments of this post. We told the kids to go watch tv in the other room for awhile, sat in the quiet, and drank that awesome nectar of the gods...a perfect ending to a wonderful day. And here's to wishing y'all a safe and happy holiday season. Even though the world we live in seems to lack sanity, the Christmas season is about peace and love. Sometimes it's hard to see that in our lives, but I hope you can find peace and love with your family and friends.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-22T21:49:00.000-06:00

I hope all y'all have a wonderful day being with family. And I want to say 'thanks' for all of you who stop by the HoZ. You are wonderful folks! And may you not have to deal with a relative like this guy, and survive without any episodes like this.

Recipe - Prayer Exchange

2006-11-22T12:27:00.000-06:00

Okay, so it falls to me to make one of our family's favorite dishes each year, and as I was preparing to pull-together the ingredients it hit me... I'm going to share this recipe from the =HC= side of the family, but with one condition: We need prayers. One of my dear cousins and the originator of this recipe (at least within my family), Julie, has had a long history of health issues that originate from a tragic car accident that she was in some 20 years ago. She suffered a shattered hip/pelvis and other complications, and has been in constant pain ever since. This week, she suffered a series of strokes. Folks, she's only 44... Way too young for this kind of misery. So I'm offering her holiday recipe to our dear readers, with the simple request - please just mention her name in your prayers. She's a dear, sweet person - every bit as sweet as this scrumptious, almost dessert-like dish. And thank you in advance for the prayers that I know all you good people will offer... This recipe looks more complicated than it is - and the payoff is worth the effort. A definite Taste of the South™ Enjoy. JULIE'S SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE 1st layer: 2 - 29 oz. cans of sweet potatoes - drained, but save some juice (best to use the whole canned yams - Bruce's is the brand I use) Mash the sweet potatoes with a potato masher and place in in bottom of 9x13 baking dish. The consistency should be "thick" and smooth - but you can leave a few small lumps for texture if you prefer. Drain the potatoes well - it's okay if it seems "too dry" - the top layers will add back moisture. 2nd layer: 1 stick of melted butter (I use Land-O-Lakes not unsalted) 2 eggs 1/2 cup milk 1 cup sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup shredded coconut (best to use unfrozen kind) Use a mixer to mix 2nd layer. Pour over first layer. 3rd layer: 1/2 cup self rising flour 1 stick of melted butter 1 cup of chopped pecans (I "mill" them coarsely in a food processor) 1 cup of brown sugar (Domino "Brownulated" granulated brown sugar works best) 1 Tbs. (approximate) sweet potato juice from the can. Mix all but sweet potato juice, then add juice slowly - just enough to make a thick, packable "paste" - it will be pretty thick and gooey. "Crumble" over second layer. Try to cover the top as evenly as possible - you're making a crust. Comment: Being mildly OCD , this part freaks me out. I've tried it with spoons and other utensils, but the best way is to "grab" it with your fingers (oogy!) and crumble it over the top. Preheat oven to 350F. Bake approximately 30 minutes or until crust is nicely browned. Start watching at 20 minutes. Let stand to firm-up for 15 minutes before serving. =HC= **UPDATE** I just got back from the store, and I noted a mistake in my earlier edit of the recipe: It's since been corrected above, but if you saw it earlier, please take note: The recipe actually needs two 29 oz. cans (very important!) or more. (I had earlier said 17 oz. cans) I usually use more yams than the recipe calls for, so today I bought one 29 oz. and one 40 oz. for this weeks dish. I have a deep casserole dish, so I'll use them both... My bad! :oP

I Heart Veterans

2006-11-20T21:13:00.000-06:00

Last week for Veterans Day, my students made this huge thank you card to send to a local veterans' nursing home. We decorated it with hearts that had pictures and messages of appreciation on them. In class today, we were working on capitalizing the names of holidays. The students had to complete a sheet that had picture representations of various holidays. They had to match the pictures to the correct holiday name, and write the holiday with a capital letter(s). One boy just couldn't get his finished. He brought his paper to me for help. He pointed to the 'heart' picture, but said he was confused because he couldn't find the written name of the holiday to go with it. I was confused at first, because 'valentine's day' was right there on the sheet, the only one that he hadn't crossed off yet. So I asked him what the written words said. He said, "Valentine's Day." So then I pointed to the picture of the heart, and asked him what holiday it was for. Matter-of-factly he said, "That's Veterans Day, but Veterans Day isn't written on this page anywhere!"
I then realized that he associated Veterans Day with all the hearts that we put on the card. And you know what, he's absolutely right! We should *heart* our veterans! (And that boy got an A++!)

We call it something else...

2006-11-20T19:56:00.000-06:00

Scarlett Johannson is critical of President Bush's stance on abstinence and abortion. Apparently, she thinks ol' George is 'too unrealistic'. She even brags (in this article) that she is so 'socially aware' that she gets tested for HIV twice a year. Uhh, Scarlett, honey, where I'm from we call that....being a SLUT!!!! And not that I'm trying to be critical of your lifestyle, but if you were practicing abstinence, you wouldn't NEED a twice-yearly HIV test. Our new cat is in heat right now...and I'm keeping her inside, safe from all the tomcats out there, until we can get her fixed. Sounds like someone needs to keep YOU inside honey, bless your heart. The cat can't help the way it is...it is just acting on animal instinct...oh, I guess that's your excuse, too, for not being able to control yourself. Excuse me if I'm not impressed.

Party!!!

2006-11-19T10:51:00.000-06:00

Last night we went to =HC='s aunt's and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary celebration. Nice, happy stuff, right? Relatives and friends gathered to share in the joy of half-a-century of wedded bliss, right? Feel good stuff, right? Not exactly. The celebration started with Mass. (Side note: one of =HC='s aunt's and uncle's grandsons (this makes him my cousin-by-marriage, which comes into play later on) is fresh out of Marine boot camp. He came in his dress uniform...dear Lord, did he look good! When Catholics come in to Mass, they kneel and pray for awhile. There was something so moving about a Marine at prayer...God Bless him!) Anyway, Mass started, as usual, with a processional song. The song last night was "On Eagle's Wings". A beautiful song.....usually played at funerals. It was played at my little brother's funeral, and whenever I hear it, I start crying. But not last night. Because this was supposed to be an anniversary celebration, and they're starting with a funeral song. I almost started giggling, not daring to look at =HC=, because I know he would be thinking the same thing. Then during the readings, the priest gets up and leaves. This should never happen. But he gets up, walks out, *poof* gone. He comes back just in time to do the gospel reading. And then comes the homily. (Sermon, for you non-Catholic folks.) And it's about the gloom and doom of the end times. Be prepared, for you never know when it's coming. I can't imagine what =HC='s aunt and uncle must be thinking. =HC= told me later he half-expected twin coffins to be brought down the aisle and his aunt and uncle put in them. And then there was the poodle on the organ. Well it wasn't really a poodle. But the organist had this really weird hair-style. She had white, curly hair. And she wore it in a bun on the back of her head, but the hair on her head was all curly and poofy and white, and the bun thing was all curly and poofy and white. It looked like the body and head of a little poodle. And all you could see over the huge organ was the top of her head, so it looked like a little white poodle bounding around the top of the organ, swaying in time to the music. Finally Mass is over, and they haven't taken the honorees away in twin caskets, so it's safe to go to the reception. They have an awesome dinner, a DJ, and an open bar (wooo-hooo!!!) But then we started to expect the twin caskets to make an appearance yet, because the DJ keeps playing songs that don't go with an anniversary celebration. Like "Please Release Me, Let Me Go", and "Margaritaville" - you know, the Jimmy Buffet song about a guy who just lost his girl and is drinking his cares away. WTH? But the celebration gears up...good food, good drinks, good music (finally), and good dancing. I can't really dance, but Princess No talks me into going up with her, saying, "You should be glad I still don't mind being seen dancing with you!" (Do you laugh or cry over a statement like that?!) And Buck is learning how to dance...and doing pretty good. I have a tendency to want to 'lead', but little ol' Buck did a wonderful job. And the funniest event (to me anyway) happened about an hour into the party. I had been drinking whiskey sours. Goob (my oldest stepson) looks at me when I return to the table from the bar, points to my drink, and says, "I'm going to steal your cherry!" I grab my drink tighter and say, "Oh, no, you're not." I look up to mock-glare at him, when it hits both of us at the same time what euphemism his sentence could have meant. Did he really say that to his STEP-mother??? I nearly busted a gut laughing. Poor Goob - his face turned so red I'm sure we could have kept the food warm with it instead of using those heater things. =HC= and Mama Bear kept asking what was so funny, and all I could manage to get out was that I couldn't say because then Goob would need months and months of therapy. Goob finally grabbed Eraserhead and said, "Let's go outside!" and vanished for most of the evening. Oohh, the trauma of being a teen male! The rest of the evening was very nice (maybe not for Goob, but maybe he'll learn to watch what he says). And I found out that =HC='s cousin (the one mentioned above) is in the Marine Reserves, going to school, and works part-time at a local clothing store as a model. A shirtless model......I feel the need to go shopping. He is only a cousin by marriage. It won't hurt to look. Heh.

When the neighbors are away...

2006-11-18T10:25:00.000-06:00

...the rednecks will play. Well, kind of. Sort of. Our neighbors across the corner from us sold their house and moved out recently. The new neighbors have yet to move in. So the redneck family on the other side of the corner decides to take advantage of it. They have a new backhoe...it kind of looks like this: At 7:15 last Saturday morning, we were wakened by the noise of machinery. Being awoken so early on a Saturday morning, a morning long-planned for sleeping late, meant we, as Southerners, did the only sensible thing we could do. We grabbed our guns to put whoever was responsible for that awful noise that early in the morning out of our misery. But we quickly realized that it was our redneck neighbors, which meant they were at least equally armed with guns (and there's more of them than us), and they also have compound bows, and have already practiced shooting from the roof of their house. And they also have that backhoe. Which was in the yard of the house that was vacant. And they were having fun. Digging up holes and taking down trees. =HC= and I looked at each other as we came to the realization that the Rednecks are testing their new backhoe before the new neighbors move in. At least that's what it looks like. I just hope the new neighbors appreciate the free landscaping. And it could have been worse. We could have been awoken to their backhoe doing this.

On Raising Children

2006-11-15T17:32:00.000-06:00

This plaque has been hanging on my wall since we moved into our house over four years ago.

Here's what it says if you can't read it:

Priority Reminder What's most important? The toys on the floor...or those who play with them? The clean laundry...or those who soil their clothes? The clean dishes...or those who eat from them? The made beds...or those who sleep in them? Remember Material things can be cleaned, mended, and fixed with hardly any fuss... But a broken heart, harsh words, or neglect may take a lifetime to repair.

Such a touching sentiment, isn't it? Just remember how precious your little darlings are, and all the messes, toils, and troubles will fade away, or seem almost insignificant. Right? Until you have teenagers. And the younger ones taking careful notes on their antics, so when they become teens, they won't make the same mistakes and get caught like their elder siblings did. I have replaced that sign. Here is my new plaque:

Although I think it was better said by two alien creatures on my favorite sci-fi show of all time, Babylon 5: ('Zathras' was a character on that show...one day I need to do a post about why the 'House of Zathras' is such a fitting title for my blog.) Londo: "This is like being nibbled to death by... What are those earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet... go quack?" Vir: "Cats." Londo: "Cats! Like being nibbled to death by cats." ****************************** Sometimes I think I'm only holding on to my sanity by the thinnest of hairs...surprisingly, the only thing keeping me from completely letting go is the presence of those who are driving me crazy. Why does that paradox make such complete sense? *sigh*

Sunday Seriousness

2006-11-12T08:57:00.000-06:00

Elton John says he would ban religion because it "has always tried to turn hatred toward gay people". Obviously, he has never heard of Father Mychal Judge. He was a Franciscan who lived in New York City, and was a man who worked among the needy and the neglected. And on 9/11, he rushed in with NYFD to aid the victims of that atrocity. You know, the CATHOLIC priest in this picture: The priest who was an advocate for GAY rights. Who ministered to GAY people. Who was GAY himself.

Was he a 'practicing' gay? No, he followed his vow of chastity. Which, by the way, Mr. Elton John, is what the Catholic Church teaches on homosexuality. You are accepted, but are asked to practice chastity, as would also be asked of unmarried heterosexuals. And Fr. Judge was LOVED and ACCEPTED and HONORED. Although he was gay, he didn't work with JUST gays. He worked for all people. He showed that it was okay to be gay, but you lived your life as an example, not forcing your beliefs on others. He lived his faith, and he died for his faith. So quit your bitchin', Mr. Elton John. Fr. Mychal Judge did more for 'gays' than you can EVER hope to do. And somehow, I don't see you running into death and destruction to minister to anyone, gay or not. Go and read about Father Mike here, here, and here. ALL people have some bigotry and prejudices to some degree or another, whether they're 'religious' or not. But your reaction to any bigotry or prejudices directed towards you speaks volumes of the kind of person you are. You can go on the attack, you can defend yourself, or you can live as an example. Fr. Judge chose the third response. Probably the toughest choice of the three. But that made him a far better man than those who take the first two choices. God Bless You, Fr. Judge. And may we all follow the prayer you composed:

"Lord, take me where you want me to go "Let me meet who you want me to meet "Tell me what you want me to say "And keep me out of your way."

Amen.

Veterans Day 2006, part 2

2006-11-11T14:39:00.000-06:00

(Sorry for the quality of the photos...I'm no photographer, it was a borrowed camera, and with being almost a foot shorter than most adults, it was hard to get ANY good pictures!) If you can start a Veterans Day celebration with the flag coming out of the sky: Thank a veteran. You get to see four Army Cobras do maneuvers like you've never seen before: Thank a veteran. If you get to see a silly helicopter perform a comedy/stunt routine: Thank a veteran. When you get to see a Marine One: Thank a veteran. If you can see planes such as this, and talk to the pilot: Thank a veteran. And you get to see what that pilot has on the side of his plane: Thank a veteran for his kick ass attitude. And when you get to see said plane do this: Thank a veteran for his kick ass attitude. And you get to see a Heritage Flight (F-86, A-10, F-4U, F-15E) AND the Blue Angels: Thank a veteran. Some of the kidlets and I spent the day at the Blue Angels Homecoming/Veterans Day celebration. Many of the pilots were veterans themselves...here we are at a day to honor THEM, and they are entertaining US!! There was only one bad note for the day...although I did wear a hat and slather on lots of sunscreen, I think I got too much sun. I don't normally post pictures of myself on the blog, but I wanted to see what y'all thought...I probably did get too much sun, because my skin seems really scaly: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (Thanks to that insurance company with the lizard for the fan and the laugh!)

Veterans Day 2006

2006-11-11T08:40:00.000-06:00

Thank you to all who have served. You know it's about more than politics. Politics has become so self-serving. But those who have served, and those who are serving now, are above that pedantic shrillness. You served, or are serving, in quiet dignity. We appreciate everything you do, even if we can only imagine the true sacrifices you make. The search engine Dogpile gets it: Google? *crickets chirping* There are those who will never 'get it'. But you chose to serve anyway, to protect even those Americans who are blind to the true meaning of freedom. You brave men and women used your 'freedom of choice' to serve and protect. I can't thank you enough. You deserve a more fitting tribute than anything I can come up with. Thank you. You are my heroes.

May as well lower the flag...

2006-11-10T11:39:00.000-06:00

...to half-mast now. If THIS plan or similar is what we have to look forward to from the Damnocrats, we're pretty much doomed already. Here's the whole gist in two paragraphs from the story:

George McGovern, the former senator and Democratic presidential candidate, said Thursday that he will meet with more than 60 members of Congress next week to recommend a strategy to remove U.S. troops from Iraq by June. [emphasis mine] .... McGovern's plan _ as written in his new book, "Out of Iraq: A Practical Plan for Withdrawal Now" _ also calls for the United States to remove hired mercenaries from the region, push for the removal of British troops and establish a temporary transitional force, similar to police, made up of Muslims from the region.

Of course something resembling THIS has been echoing through the HoZ since we woke up to the election results Wednesday morning... However, no matter how disappointed we are, we're NOT moving to Canada!

Well, I said this wasn't a political blog, but....

2006-11-08T20:25:00.000-06:00

Great. NOT! And I find it pretty chilling that the deciding race (Virginia) for control of the Senate was won by a Democrat who wrote novels with deviant acts in it... Well, now that you've got control, what's your plan? You keep our country safe, and keep the economy on an even keel, and I have no problem with it. But what is your plan? For Iraq? For America? For taxes? Most of your platforms were 'we're not the Republicans' (and I was getting tired of some their namby-pamby self-conceit, sit back and not do anything but bitch and moan)...but now you're like Wile E. Coyote in the cartoon where he finally catches the roadrunner. He's shrunk to a tiny size, yet still manages to grab the giant roadrunner's leg. But he doesn't know what to do with it...so he holds up a sign that says: "Okay wise guys, you always wanted me to catch him. Now what do I do?" If you're not careful, it'll be the terrorists telling you what to do. God, help us all.

Did you vote today?

2006-11-07T12:53:00.000-06:00

I hope so...it will give you the right to bitch about politics later.

Like I said, my life is not boring...

2006-11-06T20:38:00.000-06:00

and because of that, I'm going to be away from the House of Zathras for awhile. I'll post when I can, but family stuff has got to come first. But at least one of the things I will be tied up with is something fun for Princess No and me. Some real good mother and daughter stuff. I'm hoping =HC= will post some stories. I know he's got a couple he's been rolling around in that amazing brain of his. And not to freak anyone out, but there's only 48 days till Christmas....and counting. There now...maybe you too can join in not having a boring life!!

Sunday Funnies

2006-11-05T12:00:00.000-06:00

This post earlier in the week had me thinking of 'the good old days'. It seems like many of my readers (all three of them, lol!) were kids/teens in the weirdness that was the 80s. So this post is dedicated to y'all! Top 20 Signs You're From The '80s 20. You know what "Sike" means. 19. You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off." 18. You know who Mr. T is. 17. You once wore fluorescent, neon clothing. 16. You believed that "By the power of Greyskull," you HAD the power! 15. Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away. 14. You knew that knowing was half the battle. 13. You can remember Michael Jackson when he was black. 12. You remember the Garbage Pail Kids, and owned some. 11. You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system. 10. You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins, A-Team, Knight Rider, or Dukes of Hazzard lunchbox. 9. You know what leg warmers are and probably owned a pair. 8. You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish. 7. You wore your Izod shirt with the collar up. 6. You remember when Happy Meals came in a box, not a paper bag. 5. You recorded songs off the radio with your boom box. 4. You had to get up to change the channel. 3. You know that another name for a keyboard is a "synthesizer." 2. You actually thought Dirty Dancing was a REALLY good movie. 1. You know who Max Headroom is. (He plays on the Sci-Fi show Eureka now.) And if that didn't take you back, maybe this video will:

Could I please have a boring life?

2006-11-03T16:39:00.000-06:00

My life is not boring. Dammit. Right now, I am in the middle of FOUR legal cases. Two are custody cases (one for =HC= and his ex, and one for me and my *spit* ex.) One where I have been sued for a million dollars in an accident that was NOT my fault. And one for our subdivision. Some businessman bought residential property here, has been paying residential taxes on it for years, and is now putting a business on it. So much for property value. We can't stop the business that is being built (especially since he is bringing in truckloads of Mexicans to work weekends and nights to get the buildings up before the case is heard in court!) And work sucks. The students are great, but this No Child Left Behind crap is beating the shit out of teachers. The powers that be greatly increased the amount of work that needs to be documented (read: lots more paperwork!) and then we're told we're using too much copying paper!!! And a couple of my students are having some tough situations. It's so frustrating to not be able help them. Kids have such sad lives these days. And we have teenagers. Goob kept on hinting around Halloween that we might get 'rolled'. We threatened him within an inch of his life if ANY toilet paper touched our yard. I think he wanted to do it himself, and then blame the mysterious 'others'. I had made the mistake of telling about my brother who did that to several houses when he was young. He rolled our house so he wouldn't be a 'suspect'. Stupid teenager. But since we live over 20 miles from Goob's school, we didn't think it likely students would be out after midnight on a school night just to roll our house. Poor Goob seemed really disappointed. Eraserhead and his girlfriend broke up. He is finding consolation in computer games and listening to loud music. Ohh, the teen angst!! Buck and Princess No have managed to make it through the week without antagonizing me too much. But then, they're not teens yet, so they haven't yet realized that they really know everything. And there are some other issues that I can't go into here. And you know, all it would take is winning the lottery to take care of a lot of these problems. I bought a lottery ticket tonight...but all the numbers seemed crappy...5 of the 6 numbers were in the 30s. So, sorry for not having any funny blog fodder. I've thought about writing how =HC= and I met. Not surprisingly, we met on the internet. No, not in any creepy chat room. But through a Catholic singles site. It really was a wonderful way to meet. We knew we had our Catholicism in common, and we could write out our expectations for a relationship without worry about having to cause discomfort in a face to face contact. (We e-mailed for several weeks before we worked up the courage to talk on the phone.) At least when you're in your 30s, you have a better idea of what you want...not like when you're a teenager or in your early 20s. And =HC= had no idea what I looked like. He had posted his picture on the site, but I hadn't. (The first time I saw his picture, my heart literally did a happy fluttering...what a strange but wonderful feeling!) I didn't have a scanner to send in my picture...so =HC= and I communicated for weeks without his knowing what I looked like. But eventually we moved up to phone calls, and then moved up to an actual meeting. (I did send him a picture before we actually met.) But there came a time when I knew =HC= was 'the one'. We had been dating for a little while. We lived a good distance apart at the time (over 30 miles I think). Late one night, when Princess No wasn't even in school yet, she was having trouble sleeping. She kept on complaining about her 'private' area itching...I was worried she might have a UTI or even a yeast infection. I put her in the tub with vinegar in the water, thinking that might help soothe her (it was about 11:00 at night, so no getting a hold of a doctor at that hour!). It did relax her. I took her out, and was drying her off, when I thought I saw tp on her bottom. I couldn't figure out how that could be, since she had just had a good bath and a long soak in the tub. And then the 'tp' moved. It was *ugghh* pinworms! I knew there was an over the counter medicine available, but Eraserhead was fast asleep, and Princess No was finally dozing off. I didn't want to drag two kids out. So I called =HC=. He said he would go to WallyWorld in his town, and then bring the meds to me. Well, he went to that one, and they were out. So he headed my way, thinking to hit one of the WallyWorlds in my town. He went to two, and neither had the medicine. (It is well after midnight by this point.) He had me call around to see if I could find a 24 hour pharmacy. Well, I did...but it was on the complete opposite side of town. But he went there, got the medicine, and came to my house. Hooray! My hero! Princess No got her medicine. =HC= collapsed on the couch. He had spent the late, late (or early, depending on how you look at it) hours tracking down pinworm medicine for his girlfriend's daughter. Yep, I decided at that point. Definitely a keeper. Thank you =HC=. I couldn't make it through all this stuff without you. Do you remember dancing in the darkened driveway while this song played on the radio? It's one of my favorite memories. I love you sweetheart!

Stay on target....

2006-10-31T21:53:00.000-06:00

I normally don't shop at Target for two reasons: 1) It's out of the way. and 2) It's owned by the French. But I have found a reason to like Target ---- Market Pantry milk. A couple of weeks ago, Princess No begged me to go to Target. She had received a gift card for there. So, we went. While I was there, I figured I'd might as well pick up a couple gallons of milk. (We go through about a gallon a day...at 3 bucks a gallon, that's $90 bucks a month on milk!!! We need a friggin' cow in the backyard.) We get home, and I decide to have a bedtime snack of milk and cookies. With the Target milk. I took a swig, and immediately made a face. Maybe it's the frenchiness of it, but it didn't. taste. right. It wasn't necessarily bad, like it was spoilt or anything, but it just didn't. taste. right. Sort of like it was some kind of flavored milk. I figured that jug was bad, and got rid of it. We opened the next jug. Same. Weird. Taste. But I wasn't going to throw it away, since it wasn't 'bad'. I wasn't going to waste any more money. Well, I had decided that I wouldn't buy anymore sissified milk. Until I realized something. The jug of milk lasted more than a day. It lasted almost THREE DAYS!! I didn't think milk could stay fresh that long, lol. The kids would tolerate it on their cereal, but wouldn't swig it like water when they were thirsty. I could cut my milk costs in half or more!!! Happy days are here again!!! I just wish I didn't have to be grateful to the French about this.

In the good old days...

2006-10-31T17:38:00.000-06:00

Today in Mrs_Who's class we were talking about the setting of an old Russian folktale, "The Enormous Turnip". The students got the part about it being in a garden or a farm. They even understood it didn't happen recently, based on the traditional peasant clothing in the illustrations. When I asked them how long ago, one boy raised his hand and said, "You know, a long, long time ago. In the good old days. In the 19..., 19...." he paused for a second, thinking of a time that would mean long ago. Then he sat up straight, and proudly said, "I know. In the 1960s." I am now officially old...part of the 'good old days'. Dammit.

Things that make you go hmm...

2006-10-30T18:59:00.000-06:00

Today I was driving home with Princess No. She was telling me about her day at school. Her class has two math groups. One for more advanced math (algebra prep) which she is in, and one for 'regular' math. She made an observation today. "You know, Mom, most of the kids in the algebra group have parents who voted for President Bush. And the kids in the other group have parents who voted for Kerry." Hmm...advanced group - Bush. Regular group - Kerry. ************************************************************************************* Other things that make you go hmmm.... 1. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 2. Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines? 3. What are Preparation A through Preparation G? 4. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? 5. How come there aren't B batteries? 6. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there? 7. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 8. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 9. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? 10. Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime? 11. How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others? 12. How do you throw away a garbage can? 13. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? 14. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? 15. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 16. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up? 17. Why is it that night falls but day breaks? 18. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day? 19. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?

Sequel: When should you use a coupon...

2006-10-29T11:02:00.000-06:00

...and when do you risk taking your life in your hands? I've already had words with Mrs_Who about her chasing-down strangers... You never know when you're going to encounter a stark-raving nutball! Case in point: I recall an event that occurred one Fourth of July weekend about ten years ago in the checkout line at the Schillinger Road Delchamps grocery store in Mobile, Alabama. The seemingly harmless decision to use a daggum coupon turned potentially deadly. (Or at the very least, it was a dramatic and succinct lesson on the many varied uses of what is arguably the most versatile word in the english language...) Of course being a repatriated Southerner and Alabama resident, and also being that it was the Fourth of July Weekend, local laws dictate that we barbeque. However, we discovered that our supplies were limited, so I escorted MamaBear to the store to resupply an essential main ingredient: barbeque sauce. MamaBear and I are a deadly shopping team - we either get in/out with exactly what we want in a precision-strike, or we hone-in and study the quarry in tremendous detail, utilizing every available intel to find what invariably turns out to be the most expensive item in the establishment. Today's was a rapid-strike manoeuver: Two bottles sauce... In. Out. Return to base pronto. So there we were in the checkout line with two bottles of barbecue sauce at about $1.35 each. I had entered line first with MamaBear behind me. Behind her were two "trucker" looking characters with... what else? Beer and cigarettes. The checker finalizes her transaction with the folks ahead of us and swipes our two bottles. "Wait!" Checker-girl says, "I'm pretty sure these are on sale." "Oh really?" replies MamaBear, "Great!" I roll my eyes. "Yeah, there's a coupon in here somewhere..." says Checker-girl as she grabs the top copy of a multi-page four-color newspaper insert off a five-inch stack of adverts at the end of her checkout lane. I stand there, bored and impatient, looking about the store. You see, I hate using coupons, and I flat refuse to pay for anything with a handful of loose change. (Maybe I should have added that to my "5 Weird Things" post!) So Checker-girl and MamaBear are looking through what appears to be about an eight-page advertisement. "Here it is! Sixty cents, limit two!" MamaBear shoves the advertisement into my hands. "Here - tear it out while I get change from my purse." I roll my eyes and release a sigh of exasperation. Now we're using coupons and loose change... Ugh! I start to tear around the coupon while Checker-girl rings-up the total. After coupon and tax, it's all of about $1.68 total. MamaBear hands change to Checker-girl. Checker-girl looks to me expectantly. I don't know how many of you have tried to tear newspaper stock - let alone while standing in a checkout line with a cashier and a line of people all waiting on you. Fold it, crease it... doesn't matter. Newspaper doesn't tear in a straight line. Ever. In fact, it is certainly governed by Murphy's law, which dictates that it will tear in precisely any direction except the one you want. So naturally, it tore right through the middle of the damned coupon. "That's okay," says Checker-girl. "Just tear wider 'round it." "Okay, I'm getting it." Damn, I was just minding my own business, and suddenly I'm put to task tearing apart newspaper like a preschooler with a first art project. And in front of an impatient audience to boot. Until that moment, however, I didn't realize how impatient... "Who uses a F#$%ING COUPON for a F#$%ING TWO DOLLAR SALE??!!" Trucker #1 is glaring at me, red-faced and seething. I could see his point. In fact, I agree with him completely. I hesitated, making eye-contact with him. Oops... My bad. Up twenty decibels from the former, Trucker#1 howled so that everyone could hear, "I SAID, WHAT F#$%ING KIND OF A F#$%ING F#$% USES A F#$%ING COUPON FOR TWO F#$%ING DOLLARS WORTH OF F#$%ING SH*T???!!!!" Wow. I couldn't help but think to myself, 'How many F#$%s were in that sentence?' I was shocked. Was that a question that demanded an answer? He seemed to think so. Realizing this guy was just a little less stable than a crystallized, sweating stick of TNT, I said to MamaBear, "Just pay the difference and let's get outta here." Checker-girl chimes in, "I already rung it up with the coupon. I need the coupon for the register." She holds out her hand, impatiently now, her eyes darting sideways to the trucker and back to the coupon in my hands. Oh. F-ing. Great. Now Trucker#1 really freaks out. He bellows a string of expletives at me. Why? Because I'm holding the damned advertisement with the bifurcated coupon still firmly-attached. Spit is flinging from the corners of his mouth as he screams at me, and I'm. Just. Stunned. Really stunned. In fact, so stunned I was basically frozen-in-place. I've never seen anyone go from Zero-to-Berserk in so quick a flash. It was part horror, part wonder, and complete blood-chilling, immediate realization that this was about to turn physical any nanosecond. It was at that precise moment that I realized how useless a pistol permit is when your sidearm is locked in the console of your truck - out in the parking lot. I totally forgot about the coupon in my hand. "What the hell?" (Oh, shit. Was that out loud?) Trucker#1's eyes bugged another half-inch out of his face, which I would have thought impossible just a moment earlier. He lifted up off the floor, leaning his torso forward past MamaBear and knocking her backward into the lane-divider as he attacked the stack of advertisements. With one bashing blow, he sent the whole pile careening thirty feet across the floor, littering the store almost to the entrance. "HERE'S YOUR F#$%ING COUPONS YOU F#$%ING F#$%! I'M GOING TO F#$%ING BASH YOUR F#$%ING HEAD IN AND [something something] THIS STUPID C#$* TOO!" The guy's face was purple and every vein was... Wait. Did he just call my mother the C-word????!!! That sonofabutterhead just knocked my mother against a wall and called her... NO!! NEVER!!!! I saw red. The manager caught me as I lunged forward at Trucker#1, who was now already being held back by Trucker#2. Now Trucker#2 was yelling at me like I started it and threatened to release Trucker#1 to "finish" me. I'm barking at the manager to get the police, and get them NOW. I want to press charges and have this nutcase locked safely away. Manager is telling me to get the hell out of his store before something "happens." Once again (this time internally): What the hell? A flowing barrage of insults, taunts and threats spews at us from the Trucker Twins as the store manager grabs me under the arm, turning me toward the door. MamaBear then appeared at my other arm, and every eye in the place followed me as I was ushered through the bomb-like debris of scattered newsprint to the parking lot. Ten feet outside the door, Manager says, "now don't come back! And he turns to disappear quickly back into the store. What the hell? Was I just banned from Delchamps?? I recap in my mind: I'm standing there minding my own business. A coupon is shoved in my hand. I'm verbally assaulted. I'm threatened and MamaBear is battered. Newspaper is everywhere. Now I'm standing in the Delchamps parking lot, having been thrown out by the manager himself, and I'm not sure if I'm welcome back. Ever. Once again, and this time with feeling: What the hell??! Damn f#$%ing coupons... =HC=

When should you say something?

2006-10-28T21:15:00.000-05:00

And when do you risk taking your life in your hands? I just read this post over at Roses'. It's about telling somebody off who cut in line at McDonald's. She was wondering whether or not she should have said anything to him. I tend to confront people in situations like these (to the embarassment and fear of my family!!!). The other day, I was heading toward the gulf, when I got behind some kind of Mercury Sable station wagon-type vehicle, driven by a young woman with her hair wrapped in two braided bun-thingees on her head. They were obviously heading to the beach, with the back loaded with beach toys. And the back was also loaded with two little girls, no older than five. Without seatbelts. They were just bouncing around, having a good ol' time. I get really pissed off when I see children being endangered. The woman was also cutting in and out of traffic. So I called 9-11 to report it. I followed her until I got caught at a light, but the police dispatch said they were sending someone. So I went on to my shopping. Several hours later, I was headed to church with my kids. And we got behind the SAME woman. Same kids in the back, laying down, obviously tired from their day at the beach. Still no seatbelts. I get really pissed off when I see children being endangered. So I called 9-11 to report it. This time, I followed her to her home. (It's not like I followed her a long way. She turned off the highway while I was talking to the police, and turned into a driveway about three down from the main road.) Police dispatch said they would have to 'catch her in the act', so I told them 'Fine, thank you', and pulled off the road in front of this woman's house. (Eraserhead is in the front passenger seat, muttering, "Please, Mom, No!"). I roll down the window and she comes over to my car. She had a kind of Eastern-European look to her. I told her I was concerned for her kids, that she was putting them at risk, etc. (Of course, I KNOW I had my stern, teacher-face on!) I told her I had called the cops, and I just wanted her kids to be safe. She didn't say much, other than "Yes, I know. Thank you." And then I left for church. So...was I foolish for doing that? Probably. For adults, I'm live and let live. Adults have whatever right to be stupid to themselves. But when kids are involved, something kicks in. I just react. I don't know if it's maternal instinct or the teacher/disciplinarian in me. But these days, you don't know what nuts you can wind up facing in situations like this. But when I was a kid, you could be reprimanded by anyone in the neighborhood if you misbehaved. At the very least, they would drag you home by your ear to face your parents' wrath. Not quite the 'it takes a village' ala Hillary (her village would have everyone sitting around getting in touch with the feelings of the child and why they acted that way and let's all sit around and feel better about ourselves and spread the responsibility around until no one is responsible). No, it was more about making you face the consequences ON YOUR OWN and LEARN responsibility so you don't grow up to be a STUPID adult. Too many adults today are 'Stuck on Stupid' (ala General Honore'...I really like that guy!) Geez, I feel like the Team America/Responsibility Police. I shouldn't care. But I do. Dammit.

=HC= Gives-in... Again

2006-10-26T08:11:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay, okay... Mrs_Who tagged me with this weeks ago (quite unfairly, I might add), and has been after me to post this and other things. So here goes... My "5 Weird Things": 1. I put icecubes in my milk. The kids think it's gross, but hey... it's Nonfat Skim Milk, which is basically just milk-flavored water. You don't have to drink it, I do, and I like it that way! 2. I can't leave the house without showering and being fully-dressed. This includes going to the mailbox. 3. I can't drink beer or wine without getting an instant hangover-like headache. Therefore I drink whiskey, neat or on the rocks. Even then, I'll only have one drink, perhaps two and I'm done for the night. I'm simply not capable of being a heavy drinker. Even if I were to find I'm in the mood to get "plastered" - I can't do it. 4. I name everything. Vehicles, appliances, tools, computer equipment, firearms (of course!)... And I talk to them all too! 5. I'm a Smithsonian-grade exhibit of neruoses that are derived from the fact that I am (or was) a seriously "OCD Neat-Freak" who is now trapped in an undersized house (at least for a family of six) with four seriously messy kids and an overworked spouse. It was easier to just surrender than to try to fight it and stay angry all the time, so now I've become arguably the worst of the bunch - and I HATE IT!! 6. BONUS - I don't think any of these things are weird at all. This post, on the other hand... There you go, Sweetheart. Now please keep your future meme tags to yourself! ;-p =HC=

Making a Difference

2006-10-25T18:46:00.000-05:00

By now, you’ve probably seen or heard about the articles on the celebrities who make a big deal out of driving 'environmentally' friendly cars so they can help 'save the world'. Meantime, they're flying around in private jets, expending who knows how much fuel/exhaust/pollution. And then there's Madonna and others like her who travel halfway around the world to adopt and 'save' a child. These celebrities are all about the focus being on THEM and THEIR accomplishments. A typical 'do as I say because I'm famous and that makes me better than you' Hollywood attitude. I know someone who puts them to shame. Someone who's doing more to 'help the world' and 'save a child' than those idiots mentioned above. He does it quietly, by being a decent father. It's Bob over at Bob's Blog. He and his wife have six children, whom they homeschool. And they also provide foster care. They've even adopted some foster kids (or at least one, maybe more). He's also very politically aware, making keen observations on political situations in his home state of Colorado, while also being aware of the world political scene. This is one cool guy. Just doing what he thinks is right, and not needing the adulation of the world around him to assure him he's 'right'. He's truly making a difference, in a far, far better way than most of those nut-job celebrities. Thanks, Bob, for making a difference. In a way that really matters.

Quality time at the House of Zathras

2006-10-25T17:49:00.000-05:00

=HC= and I have been married almost 7 years now. And last night, we did something in bed that we've never done before. We watched a television show in our bedroom. (*hmmph* What did you think I was going to say...Y'all have dirty minds...this isn't that kind of blog!!!) You see, when before we got married, =HC= asked for one important condition. That we have no tv in our bedroom, so that our focus is on each other. It took some wailing and gnashing of teeth on my part, for I thought I couldn't live without a tv in my bedroom. But I haven't missed it. Our time in there is OUR time...not distracted by the crap that's going on in the world. So last night, I was working hard with report card grades - a lot of data entry type stuff. Tedious and time consuming. (Of course, if I updated every week, it wouldn't take so long, but hey, procrastination is my middle name!) I finished around 11:30. I have to get up by 5:30. So I was heading for bed. Then this conversation ensued: =HC=: So, are you going to watch "Heroes" now? (It came on Monday night, when I was at Princess No's soccer game. Goob tried to record it, but the sound came out weird. I planned to watch it online.) Me: No, I want to go to bed. =HC=: Don't you want to know what happened? Me: Yes, but I'm too tired to sit in front of the computer to watch it. It's late! =HC=: But I want to talk about it, and I can't say anything because you haven't seen it yet! Me: I just want to go to bed! =HC=: Well, what if I hook up the laptop and you can lay in bed and watch it that way? Me: *throws up hands, exasperated and laughing* Okay, okay! We'll watch "Heroes". So for the first time in our marriage, we lay in our bedroom and watched a television show. And after the show was over, I was sound asleep before =HC= had even packed up the laptop. So much for talking about the show!

Grossness at the House of Zathras

2006-10-24T20:03:00.000-05:00

Guess what I got to do that I've never done before??? Remove a tick off a person. Gross. Buck came home with one on the back of his HEAD!!! Double grossness. When he first showed me, I thought it looked like a scab. Then Eraserhead (with the terrible surety all teenagers have) said, "Does a scab have LEGS???" Ewww, icckkk! We're really not sure where he got it, although he likes to walk around with the cat on his shoulder. Actually, I let the cat do that to...correction...I USED to let the cat do that. NO MORE!! Tickses is nasty. Let's just say I was not cut out to be a doctor.

Driven to madness...

2006-10-22T19:50:00.000-05:00

...by this puzzle. Dawn, over at Overactive Imagination, got me started on the path to madness with this post. It's kind of a medieval painting, with clues in it to 50 dark or horror films. But so far I've gotten 42 of the 50 movies. Which is pretty good, I think, for someone who is not a fan of horror films. I've probably seen less than 10 of them. But will someone please, please, tell me, what is the one with the lady with the barrel marked 'H2O'??? That one is driving me crazy for some reason. Thanks, Dawn, for driving me to this madness. In keeping with the 'horror' theme, I'll quote the Wicked Witch of the West: "I'll get you my pretty." UPDATE: I'VE FOUND ALL OF THEM!!! With a little help from this site. It's a really neat site on CANDY! Yum!

Sunday Funnies

2006-10-22T09:31:00.000-05:00

Just to let you know, I love my m-i-l. =HC='s mom is the most wonderful, caring, and giving woman. But I saw these jokes and video, and had to share them. My first m-i-l wasn't as bad as those below, but I don't think there is any love lost between us. She may realize her son is not perfect, but she will never admit it, thus encouraging his failings. Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "I'm so sorry, but when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is actually my MIL." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?" I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "mother-in-law" you get the words "woman Hitler". And text messaging wasn't around when I was still related to my first m-i-l, but it probably would have gone something like this.

A multiple-choice question

2006-10-21T12:43:00.000-05:00

You're driving down the road in your neighborhood. You notice a movement on your neighbor's roof. It is a young man standing on the roof, holding a compound bow. Do you: a) call your neighbor to tell him his crazy son is at it again b) call 911 - it's obvious he's trying to take someone out c) wave and keep on driving - it's obviously hunting season, and he's just practicing Actually, this is a trick question. If you live in California and other parts of the country infested with liberals, you would pick choice 'b'...nobody needs any kinds of weapons. But if you live in the south, as I do, it's definitely choice 'c'. Which is what actually happened yesterday. We have some seriously redneck neighbors. (Although they don't have the obligatory old car up on blocks in their yard. Since we live close to the gulf, they have an old boat that stays in the front yard!) And I love it. We don't worry about crime in our neighborhood. Most of us have big dogs. And most of us have guns. And the rednecks mentioned above have guns and bows and knives and the ingenuity to come up with who knows what else. Have a new four wheeler and want to give everyone rides? Tie an old couch to the back and voila, four people can ride at once...watching that was absolutely hilarious! Need to practice hunting? Get up on your roof to imitate a tree stand, and shoot at your fake deer that you always keep in the yard. (It's hard for Yankees that move down here to understand that deer in the yard ARE NOT for decoration. It's either for practice, or to lure other deer in. Deer are for huntin' and eatin'...something else that's hard for them to fathom.) And we play war, too, with real guns. Real paintball guns, that is. (Goob is really into paintball, and constantly trying to figure out how to turn ordinary items into paintball grenades and bombs and cannons). (Just thought about "Redneck Games" from Alan Jackson and Jeff Foxworthy...my favorite line is about the kayaking on the same river they filmed 'Deliverance'.) Maybe the rest of the country sees us as unsophisticated hicks...we don't mind. Let people underestimate us. But if this country ever has a huge fall in our economy or even, God forbid, serious invasions by enemies on our soil, we'll be able to take care of ourselves. Both in defending and being able to feed our families.

I'm still here...maybe...

2006-10-19T06:43:00.000-05:00

Gee...I haven't turned the lights on here at the House of Zathras since Sunday? And I've been off this week. I'll be glad to go back to work so I can relax. And with as hectic as work has been lately, that tells you how busy I've been at home. Dammit. My aunt, who is also my godmother, died yesterday. She's been in bad shape for awhile. She suffered from emphysema for years and had to be on oxygen. She also had back problems and had been in pain for a long, long time. Earlier this week, she was at the kitchen table, writing a check. She looked at my godfather, said "I can't do this", laid her head on the table and started shaking. She was taken to the hospital and initially put on a ventilator. My godmother had been a nurse for years. She had long ago told the family she didn't want to be on life support, but just to be kept hydrated. Otherwise, the death can be painful. If you have a living will, you might want to stipulate that aspect. So after the initial assessments, she was taken off the ventilator. She stayed alive until her daughter arrived from California. Two hours after my cousin got to the hospital, my godmother passed away. She was a second mother to me, and certainly made me walk a straighter line than my own mom did. Our birthdays were only one day apart. When I was young, we always shared a birthday cake, decorated in two parts, with a line of icing down the middle delineating the two halves. In recent years, I strove to find funny birthday cards to send to her to try to take her mind off her physical suffering. The one she liked the best was one that on the front had "Did you hear the news about alien abductions in Tulsa, with reports of sexual experiments?" You opened it up and it said, "So....are you up to a trip to Oklahoma?" The last time I spoke with her was on my birthday this year, about a month ago. We wished each other a happy birthday. We spoke about a family reunion we had just had a few weeks before...she got to see so many of her extended family before she died. (I used to say 'passed away', but death is death. It doesn't need euphemisms.) She had a good time being with all the relatives. We knew it was probably the last time we would see her, but it wasn't really that sad. Poignant, but not sad. She also enjoyed fussing about my ex. If she were here now, she would be filling the air with complaints. I have to come up with about three grand to continue in legal battles with him. He tried to file a custody case two summers ago (he didn't return the kids at the end of the summer, and I had to go to court to get them returned). He's trying to get jurisdiction changed. The judge in the state where he lives has already TWICE said that Alabama (where I live) has jurisdiction, but my ex has filed an appeal. He's trying to outspend me. My husband (=HC=) and I have already spent over $25 grand in his custody case...I hate the legal system. We had just bought a house when that case started, so our funds weren't great to begin with. My ex contacted =HC='s ex, and they worked together for awhile (=HC='s ex is married to someone she met when he was released from prison...). When my ex found out how much we had to spend, he started custody proceedings. He makes more money than =HC= and I do together...so he's determined to outspend us. The kids see some of what he's doing. My oldest has even asked him to stop, but he won't. *sigh* So the lawyers continue to be able to send their kids to college with the money they're getting from this case. I will be so glad when the kids are 18 and we won't have to go through this anymore. But I don't think my ex can 'let go'. He'll continue to be bitter long after the kids are grown. Until he can come acknowledge his own faults and responsibilities, he'll be a miserable man. And those people try to bring that misery to others. And trying to make others 'pay' or be miserable too only brings suffering back on yourself.

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” -Carlos Casteneda

Ahh, hell, I think I'll turn the lights back off.

Sunday Funnies

2006-10-15T10:23:00.000-05:00

A Redneck Driver's Application Plez compleet this paper, best ya can. Last name: ________________ First name: [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: [_]M [_]F [_]None Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress [_] Un-employed [_] Dirty Politician Spouse's Name: __________________________ 2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________ 3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________ Lover's Name: __________________________ 2nd Lover's Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: [_] Sister [_] Aunt [_] Brother [_] Uncle [_] Mother [_] Son [_] Father [_] Daughter [_] Cousin [_] Pet Number of children living in household: ___ Number of children living in shed: ___ Number of children that are yours: ___ Mother's Name: _______________________ Father's Name: _______________________ Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) If you obtained a higher education what was your major? [_] 5th grade [_] 6th grade Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? Vehicles you own and where you keep them: ___ Total number of vehicles you own ___ Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___ Number of vehicles in back yard ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks Age you started drivin ______ (If over 10 are you are still slow lerrnin ? [_] Yes [_] No) Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____ truck ____ kitchen ____ bedroom ____ bathroom/outhouse ____ shed ____ pawnshop Model and year of your pickup: _________ 194_ Do you have a gun rack? [_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain: Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: [_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe [_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest [_] Rifle and Shotgun [_] Bassmasters ___ Number of times you've seen a UFO ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO How often do you bathe: [_] Weekly [_] Monthly [_] Not Applicable How many teeth in YOUR mouth? ___ Color of teeth: [_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow [_] Brown [_] Black [_] N/A Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man [_] Skoal How far is your home from a paved road? [_] 1 mile [_] 2 miles [_] don't know And before you question a Southerner's driving skill, remember that NASCAR is a Southern thang. And this guy has to be from the South. And I'm not sure, but I think this incident happened in California. Those California cops just aren't equipped to deal with our kind of driving!!

Stupid is as stupid does

2006-10-14T20:53:00.000-05:00

Roses at Ack! Thbbbt! had this post up about a stupid woman and public assistance. Personally, I think welfare and the like has been vastly abused, and it just serves to keep people 'down'. I had a friend on welfare. She wanted to make something of herself, however, and was part of a program which provided schooling. She wanted to be a radiology(sp?) tech and had about a year left when the funding was cut *poof*. She had to go back on FULL welfare to provide for herself and her daughter. She went from being on her way to being a productive citizen, to being a burden to society again. (She is now a truck driver...which isn't the best job for a single parent, but she's trying her best.) I was once on welfare. For about a month. After I had left my (first) husband (he left me a note telling me to leave), I returned to my hometown. I was a certified teacher, but at that time, there were no available teaching jobs. My divorce wasn't final, so finances were tight, to say the least, with two young children (ages 1 1/2 and 4 1/2). I did become a substitute teacher, hoping to get my face in the schools if a regular teaching position opened up. But it wasn't enough. So I applied for WIC/welfare/food stamps. (My ex was still military at that time, so I could go to the Navy base and get food for really cheap.) The food stamps made sure my kids ate well, and the welfare check would have made sure I could provide a home for them. (My folks really didn't have the room or the finances to help me.) But after the first month, I got called in to my caseworker's office. In order for me to continue to qualify, I had to get rid of all my assets. The only 'monetary' asset I had was my mini-van, on which I was still paying!!! But they wanted me to sell it. And then they wanted me to take a 40-hour a week minimum wage job to continue getting benefits. I looked at the caseworker and said, "How the hell can I get to a job if I don't have a vehicle to get there and take my kids to daycare with? And wouldn't it be better for me to continue subbing for a little while so I can get a regular job and be completely independent of the welfare system? Otherwise, I'll never get beyond the minimum wage job and still need to be subsidized for food and housing??????" Well, I couldn't see working for minimum wage and giving up my vehicle. My kids and I moved into my mom's home for awhile (the kids and I shared a room...with their bunkbeds and my twin bed, we barely had room left to turn around in!) I continued subbing during the day, and took a part-time job in the evenings (once again...not the best when your children need you, but what's a single mom to do?) But in less than a year, I had a regular teaching job, and moved out to my own home. Would that have happened on welfare?? Nope...I would have still been a slave to a dead-end job, still needing assistance. I had to return the second month's welfare check. And about four years later, they tried to claim I cashed it, and wanted me to pay it back!!! GRRRRR!!!! (I didn't, but it was a pain to get straightened out!) The welfare system doesn't work. It's stupid. It doesn't help move people 'up' with their lives. If I hadn't already had a college degree, I probably would have been 'stuck on stupid'. And the people that abuse it...like the child at my school who was on 'free and reduced' lunch, but got picked up in a Jaguar everyday, and had new name-brand clothes and shoes....just pisses me off!! Okay, /rant off! S.F.P.D.H

He's a little bit country...

2006-10-13T21:06:00.000-05:00

We were watching the new game show "1 vs 100" tonight. One of the questions was what do you do with a ‘badunkadunk’. Goob didn't know what that was. =HC= told him that where we're from, it's pronounced 'badonkadonk'. Goob still did not know what it was. I told him he probably heard a song about it on the radio when we drive in to school (I listen to Country in the morning.) He said he never paid attention to it because he doesn't like country. So I showed him this video. He stood there, with that teenaged, bored, 'the things my parents make me do'look on his face. For a few seconds. Then his eyes opened wider, and the jaw dropped a little, and he leaned in closer to the screen. His comment: "Country suddenly doesn't look too bad!!"

Tagged again!!

2006-10-13T19:20:00.000-05:00

Well, I think I've tagged Cindi with a couple of memes lately, but geez, does she pack a wallop when she tags back!! This is definitely the longest one I've ever done. If anyone wants to tag themselves with it, go ahead! It was actually pretty neat thinking about some of these items. UPDATE: I tag DeathKnyte, because he tagged me with a meme I had already been tagged with twice before. That'll teach you not to read all my posts! heehee ***FOOD*** What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Cabana What is your favorite sit down restaurant? It's been so long I don't remember (four kids in parochial schools and all that $$$$) On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? Usually 20% I've been a waitress, so I'll leave a good tip for a good one. It's not easy work. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? pizza What are your pizza toppings of choice? Canadian bacon, pineapple, mushrooms What do you like to put on your toast? fig preserves What is your favorite type of gum? I hate chewing gum. **TECHNOLOGY** Number of contacts in your cell phone? 21 - mostly children's school related Number of contacts in your email address book? which e-mail account???? What is your wallpaper on your computer? Marines!!!!! What is your screensaver on your computer? Darkness (Come to the darkside!) How many televisions are in your house? Two (And none in our bedrooms!) What kitchen appliance do you use the least? Coffee pot What is the radio station you listen to the most? XM - FoxNews (Since I don't have cable/satellite at home, I listen to news as I drive around) ***BIOLOGY*** What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My eyes. Are you right handed or left handed? Right handed (although I'm ambidextrious when it comes to walloping recalcitrant children!!!!) Do you like your smile? Umm, I guess - I've never studied it. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Two kids - C-sections Would you like to have something removed from your body? Not really - I would like to add about 3 inches in height Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? NRA magazines (especially the Armed Citizen articles) Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Smell When was the last time you had a cavity? I haven't been to the dentist in years, so who knows?? I had a bunch as a kid. I used to hide Oreos under my pillow to eat after lights out. What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? My bag of school work. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Yes. I mentioned it a few posts ago. **A bunch of stuff-OLOGY** If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No f-in' way! If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I wouldn't change it. I go by my middle name anyway, so if someone calls me by my first name, they ain't a friend! How do you express your artistic side? sewing What color do you think you look best in? green How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? Umm...someone else does my laundry and cooking??? With a few books, I could probably last a while. Just as long as I don't run into some of my former students! Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Don't think so. If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? Eww, gross, no! (Besides, I'm from the south...that's kind of normal down here!) How often do you go to church? Yep - every Saturday night. That's the nice thing about being Catholic. I can sleep late Saturday AND Sunday. Have you ever saved someone's life? Yes. My baby brother's. I was about 17, he was about 2. He was choking on a piece of food. I threw him over my forearm, whacked his back, and ka-pow, out it came. Has someone ever saved yours? Probably - my Guardian Angels work overtime. **DARE-OLOGY** Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? As long as there were no cameras. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? No. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? Are you nuts!! Would you never blog again for $50,000? Yeah. I would just have to write in a journal. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Nope. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Probably. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? No f-in' way. Unless it was a certain sex offender - then I'd do it for free, if you threw in a little bit bit of roughin' up on the ones who are protecting him. Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5000? I don't think so. Any woman who has had a bikini wax would think twice. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Does this mean broadcast/cable TV?? Yeah. If I had to give up DVD's?? Let me think...yeah, I could.

Once again from Mrs_Who's classroom:

2006-10-13T16:30:00.000-05:00

Take a look at the picture below. It was drawn by a student. See if you can guess what is going on. Make your guesses in the comments. The winner gets, well, recognition. Hey, I'm a teacher...I can't afford anything else! UPDATE: The answer is in the comments.

Should I be concerned?

2006-10-10T21:49:00.000-05:00

Looking through stats for my site, I came across one from Iran. That's right...from some place called Chahar Mahall va Bakhtiari...kind of southwards from Tehran. I'm hoping they were reassured, though. Because the post they clicked on was about my gas-guzzling SUV. I'm sure they were happy that I'm doing my part to consume oil. It's just really weird to have Iran show up in the stats. Anybody else have Iran ever show up on their stats?

Ride 'em, Cowboy!

2006-10-09T22:23:00.000-05:00

It's Homecoming Week at Goob's and Eraserhead's school. Each day this week, they can go out of 'dress code' if they wear something related to the theme of the day. Yesterday it was sports (Goob was pushing it with his camouflage - saying paintball was a sport). So tonight I told the boys to lay out their clothes for tomorrow, and they got regular school clothes. "Aren't you dressing for the Homecoming theme?" That got me 'the look' - you know, the one where the teen displays every bit of exasperation that their parents are so ignorant (I get it two or three times a day!). I asked them what the theme was....western/cowboy. So then, then I made the huge mistake of asking them why they weren't going to wear jeans and a flannel or plaid shirt. (Jeans aren't part of the regular dress code, so they jump at practically any chance to wear them to school.) I got 'the look' again. But at least they explained....they ain't going "Brokeback". And I can't let that go without some videos. Wallace and Grommit Brokeback Brokeback to the Future Brokeback Harry Potter And not exactly Brokeback Lord of the Rings, but definitely of the same genre! And while we own all of the Lord of the Ring DVDs, I cannot watch them anymore because of the video. I'm torn between giggling and being grossed out.

A-B-C's

2006-10-08T22:23:00.000-05:00

Go check out this game. You can try to spell words as others are trying to spell words. It's funny when you steal other people's letters! Go on, try it. It'll have you giggling!! HT to Cindi! Thanks girl - you made me laugh!

Sunday Funnies

2006-10-08T12:00:00.000-05:00

Some bumper stickers I have thought about having: 1. Earth First! We'll strip mine the rest later. 2. Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot. 3. Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. 4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. 5. It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. 6. Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. 7. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. 8. When you do a good deed, get a receipt - in case heaven is like the IRS. 9. OK, who stopped payment on my reality check? 10. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. 11. Madness takes its toll - please have exact change ready. (I probably won't have the exact change. The other day, I only had 13 cents in my ashtray, and 6 cents of it was plastic coins from my classroom.) 12. Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its students. 13. When The Rapture Comes, Can I Have Your Car? (Folks who live in my neck of the woods know why this one is so appropriate. Especially when driving by PCC!) 14. Back-off! I'm a postal worker. 15. The whole world is going to hell, and I'm driving the bus. (This one is my personal favorite!) 16. This car protected by a pissed off mother with a .45 auto. 17. I have PMS and a gun... did you have something to say? 18. Happiness is a belt fed automatic weapon. 19. Driver carries only $20 worth of ammunition. 20. My child was inmate of the month at the county jail. (Some days, this isn't funny - it seems like an all-too-real possibility!) 21. Wear Your Seatbelt! (It makes it harder for the Aliens to kidnap you!) (Actually, this one is my personal favorite. I've been to Roswell. I know!) 22. Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. 23. The best way to change a person's mind is to bash them in the head with a rock. 24. I'd do what the voices tell me but I don't speak their language. 25. It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye, then it's just fun. Do you have a favorite bumper sticker? Put it in the comments if you wish. And =HC= and I thought this video was cute! * * *

Thoughts of long ago...

2006-10-06T19:22:00.000-05:00

It has been a really rough week for me. Work has been tough, I'm having some medical problems, and one of my students was seriously injured in an accident. (Thank you again for your prayers - he seems to be making steady progress.) So I've been on kind of a low all this week. Then tonight I read this post over at Oddybobo's. It touched oh-so-close to home. In fact, I have been thinking about some things in my past for the past few weeks. I hope Oddybobo realizes what a wonderful thing she is doing for her cousin. Her cousin needs the support right now. Many years ago, I faced a similar situation. I was young, married, and living far from family. My then-husband (he of the girlfriend-of-the-month club) decided he was going out. Without me. In the only vehicle we had (which happened to be in my name). I grabbed the keys to keep him from going. He tried to wrest the keys from me, but I wouldn't let go. He grabbed my upper arms and tried to shake me, trying to get me to drop the keys. I wouldn't, so he threw me to the ground. It knocked me out briefly. I slowly came to, but not enough to move. I could feel my tongue blocking my throat, but I couldn't move. I was aware of my husband in the bathroom, frantically wetting a towel. He patted my face with the towel. I was able to start moving at that point. I jumped up and ran out of the house. I was barefoot, and all I had was the keys. I jumped in the car and just started driving, sobbing and wiping tears away. I came upon an overpass, which went over the Gulf Freeway (Houston). There was a cop pulled over there. I pulled in front of her, and ran to her car. I must have looked a mess, and I asked for help. She said she was waiting for President Bush(41) to pass by, and couldn't leave. But neither did she offer or direct me to further help. I got into my car again, and drove until I came to the house of a friend from college. She welcomed me, and offered to put me up for the night. But as I lay in her spare bedroom that night, I heard her and her husband arguing. He didn't want me there. So, I got up early, and left. I had bruises on my upper arms, no purse, no shoes, nothing. So I went back home. I felt like I had nowhere else to go. I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I felt so worthless. My husband and I divorced, but we remarried again later. In that 'second' marriage is when we had two kids. I didn't suffer physical abuse, but emotionally... I only found the strength to leave when my husband was deriding me in front of the kids. My son was four, and my daughter one. I realized I couldn't raise my kids in that environment. But it was only because of them that I found the strength/courage to leave. My now ex-husband still is very hateful towards me. He says there is 'no proof' of the abuse, and I just made it up for sympathy. He claims I stole his family from him. (Incidentally, he left me a note one day telling me to leave after we had a horrendous fight - the one in front of the kids. I guess he thought he still had 'control' over me and that I needed 'him'.) I don't care what he thinks anymore. I do care when it affects my kids, but personally, he is 'nothing' to me. I don't wish him harm. But the other day, when hearing of someone else who suffered abuse, I realized I didn't feel the upwelling of pain that I used to. It wasn't necessarily a 'relief', but just a passage of sorts. It also makes me realize how much I love =HC=. We have faced some serious situations in the six or so years we've been married. But never has he derided or belittled me or made me feel anything less than loved and cherished. I am blessed to have him. But if you know of someone who is in an abusive situation, please be there for them. I can understand that if you have children at home, you might worry about an angry husband/boyfriend coming over. But at least direct them to the police, a shelter, a pastor, someone. I was 'rebuffed' twice, and was scared of bringing my problems on someone else. I lived in that mess for over ten years. I just needed someone to let me know I was 'worthy' of being helped. Thank you, Oddybobo, for letting your cousin know she is worthy. It's hard to pull yourself up out of the quicksand of anguish and hopelessness. She is in my prayers.

Mrs_Who's Bible Stories

2006-10-05T21:18:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the light posting lately. I've not been feeling well. In fact, I had to go to the doctor today. (Guys, you might want to stop reading now! I've warned you!) Not to go into great detail, but I've been having problems of the female kind. You remember that story in the Bible where there is a woman with a hemorrhage for 12 years? And she goes up to Jesus and just touches the hem of His robes and is healed? If that had been me, I wouldn't have just touched His hem. I would have gone up to Him, grabbed His shoulders, and shaken Him, all the while screeching, "Fix it! Fix it now!" That would have probably given me a few more years in Purgatory. *sigh* But it would have been worth it if the problem had gotten *fixed*! :)

Time for Another Meme

2006-10-04T20:42:00.000-05:00

Tink tagged me with something weird. (No, I don't need a penicillin shot!!) I'm supposed to list 5 weird/odd things about myself, and then tag five others. So, here goes: 1. I can't watch old Brady Bunch reruns when one of the kids is going to be embarrassed. I have to leave the room. 2. I have to check the alarm 5 times before I go to sleep. I get out of bed to do this. Can we say OCD??? 3. I sit with my toes curled under my feet. 4. I talk to other drivers. Good thing they can't hear what I say. 5. I hate wearing shoes. Good thing I live in Alabama! LOL! Okay, now I tag: Dawn at Overactive Imagination Cindi at Somewhere Over the Rainbow Holly at Politics of a Patriot LemonStand at Lemonade Made Daily and my own beloved =HC=, who gets to post here!! (Hey, if Pan can do it at Tink's, =HC= can do it here!)

Prayers please...

2006-10-02T16:46:00.000-05:00

...for a child in my class. He is in the hospital with serious head injuries. Can't say much more, but if you pray, please remember him. Thank you. UPDATE: The boy has still not opened his eyes, but sometimes responds to family members. Still critical, and may be moved to another hospital for further treatment. His family says 'thank you' for all the prayers.

2006-10-01T14:48:00.000-05:00

I've been playing around with my blog roll and template a little bit while I'm waiting on =HC= to get out of the shower. Not having much luck on the template with what I wanted to to, but oh, well. I'm not a computer whiz. I've added two blogs to my roll. One is The Lemon Stand. As she said in the comments on this post, we can sooo relate. It's nice to know that =HC= and I aren't alone in this stressful business of child-rearing. The other blog is by woman who lives in Egypt, Kirsten Namskaus. This is one of the things I love about blogging. You can find people who are going through similar trevails, but you can also find people who live in a different culture, and still see how much alike people really can be. Oops, =HC= is out, gotta go. Y'all have a great Sunday!

I don't smoke...

2006-10-01T11:39:00.000-05:00

...but if it upsets Gore enough to say this, I might just have to start! In fact, I'll head to the local convenience store in my big ol' gas-guzzling, air-pollutin' SUV right now and buy a pack! And apparently in his book tour, Gore shows videos of San Francisco being inundated by the ocean when the ice shelves melt because of the cigarettes. Hmmm, might have to buy a carton or two. Sensationalism is good way to draw attention to your cause, but you need to have some facts to back it up. But as he wants us to believe, we are only parasites on earth. I've said it before, but Earth will shrug us off like a bad case of dandruff. Yes, we need to be aware of our impact on the environment. But our record keeping has only been around for a few thousand years. Who knows how old earth really is? Who's to say how many global warmings and cool-downs there have been? There used to be a big to-do over the hole in the ozone layer...so we lightened up on the use of CFCs. Now the hole is getting smaller, but the earth is getting warmer. Hmmm, maybe that hole was acting like a smoke-hole, letting all the excess 'warming' out. I'm no scientist. And there are so many conflicting facts regarding global warming on whether people are affecting it or not. I'm sure humankind contributes, but not to the extent the extremists like Gore want us to think. Remember this essay on a deadly chemical?:

Dihydrogen Monoxide: The Invisible Killer There is a chemical that has been used for well over one hundred years and its use must be stopped! The Association for Environmental Activism is dedicated to seeing that its use comes to a swift end. Dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) is colorless, odorless, tasteless and kills thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting, and body electrolyte imbalance. Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions in many modern societies. Dozens of arid countries have spent millions of dollars in research money to extract it in its pure form from our planet's oceans. Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest and recently in California. Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used as an industrial solvent, in nuclear power plants, in the production of styrofoam and as a fire retardant. Pharmaceutical companies have put DHMO to use in large quantities in conjunction with many forms of cruel animal research. It has been linked to the distribution of pesticides and is often sprayed on crops of all kind. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical. Nutritionists have recognized DHMO as an additive in certain food products for decades but have been reluctant to speak out to the public about the vast quantities of this chemical being used in most foods. Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer! The horror must be stopped! Our government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the Navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military and civilian research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use. It's not too late! Act NOW to prevent further contamination. Find out more about this dangerous chemical. What you don't know can hurt you and others throughout the world! Ask a chemist, your local high school science teacher, or university chemistry professor about the exact composition of this chemical! The Facts: Also called hydroxl acid or dihydrous oxide, it is a component of acid rain. It contributes to the "greenhouse effect." It may cause severe burns as a vapor. It contributes to the erosion of our beautiful natural landscape. Accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals and may be affecting your car. Causes electrical failure and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes. It has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients. The Deadly Statistics: In the year 2000, according to the Children's Safety Zone, There were a total of 210 reported DHMO related incidents. 64 Deaths. Out of those 64, 28 were children and 36 were adults. By way of comparison, there were 43 deaths the previous year out of 160 incidents. And so far in the year 2001, there have been 58 deaths (27 children) out of only 183 incidents. Tell every one you know to support all efforts to ban this colorless and tasteless, deadly substance.

Holy crap!! It sounds like something we really need to ban, doesn't it??? But...that chemical is only 'water'. That's right, water. Don't let other people do your thinking for you. Especially don't let Gore do it for you. UPDATE: This site has some interesting anti-anti-global-warming info and videos.

Sunday Funnies

2006-10-01T11:02:00.000-05:00

How Catholics know when they're driving too fast: And totally irreverent, but don’t mess with the nun!

Something is not right...

2006-09-28T18:03:00.000-05:00

...with this woman. It is the night before she is to get married. She is also about six months pregnant. Her stomach starts bothering her, but she at first thinks it is the night before the wedding jitters. She finally realizes it is labor, and goes to the hospital and gives birth to a premature, 1-lb, 12-oz boy. And about 11 hours later, she's at the church having her wedding. I don't know whether to be pissed or saddened. You leave your premature son??? My kids weren't premature, but you couldn't have dragged me away from their sides when they were born!! I really can't wrap my brain around this woman's choice. The people at the church clapped for them, and the ~~selfish~~ happy couple even went to the reception and had a dance before they went back to the hospital. I'm really surprised that they cancelled their honeymoon...after all, the doctors and nurses are keeping an eye on the baby...not much mum can really do, anyway, is there? Maybe I'm being too critical of her. She didn't make the choice I would have, and I probably shouldn't judge her by that...but in my field of teaching, I've seen too many children who are not their parents' number one concern. Most of those children are an emotional mess...sometimes over-eager to please, or acting up to get attention, or any number of behavioral problems. I just can't understand when someone doesn't make their kid their number one focus. I'm not talking about giving in to everything they want, or never doing anything for yourself. But it IS about sacrifice, like it or not. It's just sad to me.

Teenagers: Can't live with them....

2006-09-28T07:48:00.000-05:00

...can't kick them out until they're 18, or else protective services and the cops come after you. (After all, if you're tired of their all-knowing, sneering, emo-driven attitude, society is even less inclined to want them!) Get me through these teen years! The teens in the House of Zathras are probably no better/no worse than teens in other homes, but in their moments of sheer teen angst (during which they show their unique independence and individuality by dressing and acting like all other teens) =HC= and I are being driven absolutely crazy. But that's okay. We have a couple of plans. Plan A: As soon the last child graduates from high school, we sell the house and buy an RV. That way, the kids can't come back home. Especially with who knows how many others in tow. We take the RV where ever we want, touring this great land of ours. Oh, we'll drop in on the kids occasionally, so we can see the grandkids. Feed the grandkids Mountain Dew and Skittles, and then leave again. This plan always brings a smile to my face! Plan B: Why should we leave our house? After the kids leave, we can finally buy all the nice furniture and other things that we couldn't because the kids would destroy it. But how to keep them away??? Ahh, have you ever seen the movie "Failure to Launch"? A couple finally gets their 30-something year old son to move out, and the dad turns the son's old room into his 'naked room' so he can walk around without clothes. Well, =HC= and I are going to turn the House of Zathras into a naked house. That's right, kids. The ol' parents will be walking around NEKKID! We're not going to confine ourselves to a room. The whole house is ours! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!!!!! Plan B strikes more terror into the kids' hearts than Plan A...but only because they haven't had their own kids yet. When they are tired from working all day, and are trying to get the kids to bed, but the kids are bouncing off the walls from a sugar and caffeine driven overload, they may change their minds. And they will remember the curse. What curse? Oh, you know the one. The one all parents utter sooner or later: "I hope you have kids just like you!" (Try it. It works!) Do y'all have any plans for dealing with teens? If so, please share them! We'll take any help we can get!

New Rule at the House of Zathras

2006-09-27T20:06:00.000-05:00

From here on out, if the pets don't get fed, then the kids don't get fed. Nuff said.

On the way home from soccer practice...

2006-09-25T19:33:00.000-05:00

The soccer season has begun for Princess No and Buck. They are always so talkative on the way home. In fact, I don't have to say much other than 'Mm-Hmm' and 'Really?'. That is, until tonight. We were listening to FoxNews on XM Radio. The announcer was speaking about Mel Gibson's remarks on the decline of American civilization. That had Princess No really concerned. "What are we going to do, Momma?" I told her it wouldn't be an instantaneous thing if it did happen, and not to worry about something you couldn't control. People will do what they need to do to get by. People always find ways to survive. I also told her if she was really concerned, then she should learn how to defend herself, how to grow her own food, etc. Don't worry about things, just teach yourself to be prepared to face problems. Princess No then mentioned she didn't want to go in the military, but if there was a draft, she would. I explained that only guys would be drafted. "But Momma," she said, "If America is having a draft, then it needs people to protect it. I love my country and would want to serve my country. I would die to protect my country." I had tears in my eyes...how can you feel so scared and so proud at the same time? I was in the military, but...it's just different when it's your child, your daughter. I don't want my little girl to grow up....

God is a four-letter word!

2006-09-24T13:04:00.000-05:00

This article just pisses me off. Veggie Tales is now on NBC, but 'non-historical' references to God and the Bible are being edited out, as is the show's traditional closing line "Remember kids, God made you special and He loves you very much". Damn you, Hollywood. You can broadcast the words 'bitch' and 'bastard' and 'shit' among others, show scenes of graphic murders, rapes, abuse, and who knows what else, but you can't let animated vegetables talk about God? This is why we don't have cable or satellite at the House of Zathras. Hollywood is so liberal...anything's okay as long as it's not God. What are y'all scared of anyway? A show mentioning God might have children make good, safe choices? Nah, the only 'good choice' to Hollyweird is 'pro-choice' and the only 'safe' choice is 'safe sex'...which means knowing you can screw anyone you want, how ever many people of either sex you want, because you'll be 'safe' from responsibility no matter what....Pregnancy, STDs, AIDs, none of it is your fault. Damn it all. And then they wonder why kids are growing up and not being able to connect to society. Nobody is taking responsiblity for anything, except to keep us safe from 'God' and Christianity. You know who else wants to keep us safe from that? Islam. Thank you, Hollywood, for encouraging Islam to perform its jihads. You are laying the groundwork for them to come in and try to convert or kill us all. You, liberal Hollywood, are responsible for that. Islam sees this as doing us a favor. After all, we were founded as a Christian nation, and yet the world sees that Hollywood (and the media) is producing films and shows that praise everything AGAINST Christian principles. So therefore we must be wretched as a Christian nation and are actually crying out for Islam principles! Islam will be a means to save us, won't it, Hollywood? You're just doing the jihadists' a favor by doing the 'advance work'. As far as that goes, Hollywood, you're doing great!

Sunday Funnies

2006-09-24T09:43:00.000-05:00

!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!! Research on bread indicates that: 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations. 4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. 5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month! 6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis. 7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days. 8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts. 9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. 10. Newborn babies can choke on bread. 11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. 12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made: 1. No sale of bread to minors. 2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers. 3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread. 4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage. 5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools. This article was written by B.S. Wheatberry in a desert after consuming mass quantities of yeast bread then realizing his canteen was empty. (seriously :P ) ************************************ And if that article is not proof enough, look at this video on how crescent rolls are made.

A Letter from Iraq

2006-09-23T19:41:00.000-05:00

One of our church families has a son in Iraq. He sent this letter to our parish. I don't think there's anything else I need to say. For the Parish Family Hello Everyone, As you may already know, I am a soldier in the American Army. I serve with the 101st out of Fort Campbell, KY. I am currently fighting in Yusufiah, Iraq, south of Baghdad. I apologize for not writing earlier. I hardly have time to write my family. I had some extra time, and thought I would write all of the people praying for me. I know it is not much, but I just wanted to show my appreciation. I don’t know if you have had a real encounter with answered prayers or not. If you haven’t, I want you to know that God always listens. My father told me that the church has been praying for me. He really didn’t have to tell me. I somehow already knew. I want to give you some idea of what where I live is like. From the beginning we have been in a bad situation. My company was given the toughest area of operation. I am sure you have heard about the roadside bombs they place here. Our area has been riddled with them the whole time. The place we are in is an infilling spot for insurgents. They come from all different countries to enter Iraq through our cities. I really have to hand it to my brothers here. And that is what they are, my brothers. I have never found a better group of men to be associated with. We have sustained an amazing amount of casualties, and yet we push on as if it is the first mission we were conducting. We deployed with 119 soldiers. They have fallen from various things, around 25 non-returnable to combat from injury, and about five removed from combat for mental stress related issues. Even though my boys are mentally and physically worn we still think of each other first. They are well trained soldiers and even better friends. I know that people have “Religious Experiences” when near death experiences occur. There is something different here though. Being constantly faced with danger even while back at base, and being on duty 24/7 is mind bending. But, prayers work. I feel like there is a shield around me. I know it because the Lord has been protecting me this whole deployment. We are a “light” unit. This means we walk a lot. These roadside bombs are designed to decimate tanks. They are the main reason for our casualties. I have walked up on them many times. When three artillery round explode next to you, and the guy behind you gets hit and you don’t it says something. I have had mortars dropped on me, rockets launched at me, and snipers shooting at me. Still I am continuing with no bad injuries. There is this unexplainable force protecting me. The Lord definitely looks out for those who will call to Him. I had stopped having a relationship with God a long time ago. I thought I had drifted. So I thought I would start talking to Him again. Sometimes I have cried out to Him when I can get some down time. Praying so intensely for the protection of my brothers and family back home I am forced to tears. When I think I have nothing left, and something horrible has happened. Things just seem to get worse and worse. I have seen my prayers answered many times. If you think God does not listen then you are dead wrong. Many times the Lord has guided me. Some non-believers may call it gut feelings, or instinct, and maybe dumb luck. It might be something as simple as, “Don’t take the left around that building.” Then a few hours later someone else takes that route we avoided and a bomb goes off. I just want to show you that the Lord is alive and among us. He really does care for His people. When things seem dismal and you feel this burden like a weight is unbearable. Remember He is there. Maybe not visible to you, but He is watching. Also be good to you brethren. Even though you might dislike them it does not matter. We are all people. You would not believe the hatred I feel for these people at times. Days when I have just felt like “Blow it all up, they’re all insurgents anyway!” Then I see a glimpse of innocence. A group of children playing soccer in the middle of the road. In a street that gets blown up regularly. Having the time of their life. Just being children. Not tainted by things of the world. Not driven by money or things that often take the place of God. Knowing only that they love their family and could find joy in the simplest of things. Then a man will call his children in, and see me. He will approach and invite us in for bread and tea. As I accept his offer and enter his house I recognize it. I have been here before on a raid. Coming in at 3am, and kicking his door off the hinges. Now this man offers me and my men food and is being polite to me. It is mind blowing. We are getting ready for redeployment to the states. I am ecstatic. The morale of the men is through the roof. After enduring all the hardship and losses we are finally coming home. Home what a beautiful thought. I can’t explain it. I have never wanted anything more than a return flight to the wonderful state of Alabama. It is like being given the most precious gift ever. A chance to take care of the things that should matter most to a person. Their family. I know mine has been awaiting my return. I could not ask for a better family. So supportive and loving, and that ties into my extended family, my church. You might not know it, but the man next to you is your brother. We are all God’s children and should treat each other better than we treat ourselves. Please, I ask only one thing of you. Try to slow down a little and remember what really matters in this life. Not your car, how big your house is, or what your worldly stature is. All things of this world pass away, but I am eternal. I think someone famous said that. O yea, God did. Once again I would like to thank you for keeping me in your prayers and thoughts. If really does mean more than you might know. And a special thanks to the choir. I shall soon be home, and can’t wait to see all of your smiling faces. I pray that God keep you all and shine His love upon you. With much love and thanks, (Name Withheld)

It's Finally Friday! (Time to get cookin')

2006-09-22T14:00:00.000-05:00

It's Spaghetti Night™ at the House of Zathras, and I'm cooking. It's a simple fare, but it's one I love to cook - unless my audience is solely the kids. I can count on the inevitable wails of "eeew, I hate mushrooms!" or "why does it have to have tomatoes in it?" (!!!) For the record, I do like to cook, but I'm my only tolerated critic. If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, but you'd better certainly not expect me to fix something else for you instead. I have a much younger cousin who, at least into his earlier teen years, would eat nothing but hot dogs, pizza and grilled-cheese sandwiches (but only on white bread, and only if it's made with the individually-wrapped Plasti-Cheez™ slices.) One year we sat down to a Thanksgiving Dinner with more yummy dishes than you could hope to sample. My cousin walked up to his place at the table, donned a sour look and then crossed his arms over his chest and turned-up his nose. "I don't see anything good to eat!" WHAT?!! I was furious. I was even more furious when moments later, as we were all expecting to say Grace so we could eagerly dive-in, my aunt was rummaging through my grandmother's fridge, looking for hot dogs or Plasti-Cheez so her son could join us in our Thanksgiving meal! AAAAaaaarrrgh!! So naturally, if I invest the time and effort in making a spaghetti sauce from scratch, meaning I've started from raw garden-tomatoes, blanched and stewed... Or even if I (~~more commonly~~ ~~usually~~ nearly always) shortcut by starting with canned stewed-tomatoes... Hearing "I don't like" tends to irk me a wee-bit. Not to say that the kids don't love spaghetti... But how do they love it? Straight out of a can. Plain Ragu. Chef Boyardee if only I'd stoop to put it on the table. Yuck. Princess_NO earned her name for her famous dislikes for "exotic" foods like cheesecake and anything that she ~~knows~~ even suspects has sour cream in it. When Princess_NO was just a toddler, Mrs_Who cooked whole baby carrots as a simple veggie side to a sensible and delicious supper. Princess_NO wouldn't eat the carrots because they were cooked. When Mrs_Who told her she had to try just one, hilarity ensued as Princess_NO was seen in a full-blown howl with an unguided fork in her own hand, headed ever-so-painfully to her gaping, howling maw. The carrot touched her tongue and she gagged. She looked like she was going to urp, and then quite suddenly, her expression changed as she realized it was actually quite good. She eagerly devoured a whole pile of little carrots on her own as if there had been no drama at all. Princess_NO won't even watch me build a lasagna, because she hates how Ricotta cheese "looks." She loves my lasagna, and concedes the ricotta is delicious as a component of the whole, but if she watches me make it, she claims she "may not be able to eat at all." Oh the drama. Oh, and I'll share my secret to a good spaghetti sauce - cocoa. Some people add sugar to counerbalance the acid of the tomatoes. Phooey! Sugar is blasphemy! Use just a pinch of cocoa powder (unsweetened baking chocolate)... up to a quarter-teaspoon depending on the quantity of sauce you're cooking. But be careful - if you can taste the cocoa on its own, it's too much. You don't want spaghetti that tastes like mole poblano! Alternately, you can use black coffee to give the sauce more "body". Don't bother brewing a fresh pot - the cold stuff that's been there since morning is best. I'd tell you coffee is also an awesome base for meat broths and gravies, but you already knew that. Just remember... Use enough to add body, but not enough that you can readily discern a "coffee flavor." Of course Princess_NO is cool on the chocolate, but if she knew there was coffee in her spaghetti sauce, she'd almost certainly be off looking for a grilled Plasti-Cheez sandwich!

Oh, say can you see...Disney World?????

2006-09-20T19:48:00.000-05:00

Recently at school we've been talking about the Constitution and the Star Spangled Banner. I was explaining the national anthem line by line, because otherwise it's a meaningless jumble to young kids (unfortunately to many adults, too). I got to the lines

the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there.

I was trying to explain to the kids that the flag could be seen because the night sky was being lit up. "Just like at Disney World!" one kid exclaimed. At first, I wanted to roll my eyes, having a famous battle compared to fireworks at Disney. But then I thought what a wonderful country we live in, that our kids can't even conceive of what a battle is. There are so many places in this world where children would have unfortunate first-hand knowledge of the night sky being lit up by bombs, artillery, and who knows what else. If my students' only comparison to a sky being lit up is the fireworks show at DisneyWorld, then we truly have freedom. And God Bless the men and women who are fighting and dying to give us that freedom. Those kids may not realize what you do, but I thank you for them.

Another Blasted Meme!

2006-09-19T20:22:00.000-05:00

Holly over at Politics of a Patriot got me! Well, since I didn't bring home any schoolwork tonight, I'll do the meme: List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal/blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to. Amazed - Lonestar (special song) Dead Man's Party - Oingo Boingo God Bless the USA - Lee Greenwood (Sometimes I play this at school and the kids are so sweet singing the refrain!) Master of the House - from Les Miz One Vision - Queen (the 'fried chicken' line at the end always cracks me up!) Let the Bodies Hit the Floor - Drowning Pool Highway to Hell - AC/DC (my life keeps getting detoured to this road somehow) Yeah, I know - a bunch of oldies in there - I don't get out much!! I'm officially middle-aged now, so I can't keep up with the new stuff. Besides, if I express too much of an interest in any of my kids' music, they feel weirded out and have to drop it from their mp3 players!! And while I was looking up the songs above, I came across the Official Song of the House of Zathras™: The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum. Geez, now I have to tag seven people...do seven people even read this blog? Cindi at Somewhere Over the Rainbow Dawn at Overactive Imagination Tammi at Tammi's World Tink at Tink's Tribulations Ahh, hell, I'm tired now...considered yourself tagged if you want, or un-tagged if you want. I'm going to bed now!

Heard in Mrs_Who's classroom:

2006-09-19T18:58:00.000-05:00

I was reading a story called "No More Jumping on the Bed". It is a charming story about a child jumping on the bed, with disasterous consequences - the bed falls through the floors of the apartment building. As the child in the story falls asleep, he hears a 'thump, thump' from the floor above him and knows the upstairs neighbor kid is jumping on his bed, too. As I read that line, one student piped up, "I heard a noise like that from my momma's bedroom, but she said it was just her boyfriend throwing things at her." ***** If parents only knew what their kids were saying at school...

Avast, It's Talk Like a Pirate Day!

2006-09-19T12:00:00.000-05:00

First, you need a pirate name. Here's mine:

Your Pirate Name Is...

Arch-Pirate Buxom Betty

What's Your Pirate Name?

And while it's hard for me to wrap my tongue around pirate talk, here's a real lady pirate. Grace O'Malley was an Irish pirate who held her own against Elizabeth I. There is also a fictionalized series of books based on her life by Bertrice Small, starting with Skye O'Malley. Excellent books, well-researched on the customs on time, and filled with shall we say, interesting 'love scenes'. I learned some things from some of the later books in the series that really, really surprised me...like, how is that possible???? No wonder so many people want to be a pirate!!!!

Thank you, everyone!

2006-09-18T20:45:00.000-05:00

What a wonderful birthday I had! This was my first birthday in the blogosphere, and y'all have just been so sweet! You have made me smile and laugh since I got home and started reading the comments, and going to Harvey's and Tink's for special surprises. Y'all are the best. *sniff* And thank, =HC=, for putting up the oven vent and the curtain rod. Now I can see what I'm cooking (think that'll help?? Nah), and the birds and the bees (and possums) can't look in our window since I can hang the curtains there now. Now it's time for bed...maybe =HC= will give me another one of those great back rubs! :)

Some "Old Friends" Stopped by...

2006-09-18T09:59:00.000-05:00

...to wish Mrs_Who a Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday Sweetheart! P.S. - Someone from the University of Alabama Archaeological Society called and left a message. They asked for you - said something about "digging-up old friends"... I think she said her name was "Ayn Cheent." Hey, at least I didn't say how old *cough* forty-one! *cough* you are!! ;o) Luv you Kitten!!

Yep, it's my birthday today...

2006-09-18T06:10:00.000-05:00

...and =HC= honey, it would be nice, if when I got home from work today, that my new curtain rod was up in the dining room. And although the box for the new oven vent has made a nice shelf in the family room, I really would like for the oven vent to be put up, and the box disposed of. Thank you honey!! (And by the way, thanks for the back rub this morning...I love you, sweetie!)

Southern Plagues

2006-09-17T17:30:00.000-05:00

I love living in the South...the tropical climate, the mild winters, the beaches. But just about every spring and fall, we have an invasion: That's a car covered with lovebugs. Don't let the cute-sounding name disarm you. These damn bugs are all about mating. And they become totally oblivious about where they fly, because they're stuck together in some buggy equivalent of an orgiastic oblivion. Some years are worse than others. Awful, black clouds of these pests arise and meet death on your car with icky, sticky, and smelly carcasses. And you have to wash it off within 24 hours or else the remnants eat into the paint of your car. The plague doesn't last for long, but it's a pain in the butt until it's over. But then end of the lovebug plague in the fall brings the ominous beginning of another plague, far, far worse than the lovebugs. In fact, most Southerners view the lovebugs as a minor irritant when compared with this awful, horrible disaster: The Invasion of the Snowbirds: (As my b-i-l says, "If it's Snowbird Season, why can't we shoot them?")

Sunday Funnies

2006-09-17T09:02:00.000-05:00

First Guy: So, did anything happen with you and Jill last night? Second Guy: Same thing that always happens. As soon as we started getting romantic I began crying uncontrollably. First Guy: Nervous habit? Or were you into the moment? Second Guy: Pepper spray. *********************************** The girl in that joke above could have had a father like this. (Warning: Adult situation in video link!!)

Il Papa's Remarks

2006-09-16T14:15:00.000-05:00

How do you show you're offended by the Pope's remarks on a 13th century dialogue that Islam is spread by violence? By reacting with violence against churches, of course. That shows true 'enlightenment'. And did you ever hear of this incident, where a then-Archbishop (now Cardinal) Anthony Olubunmi Okogie of Nigeria offered to be stoned in the place of a Muslim woman convicted of adultery? The woman (who had been divorced), had a child out of wedlock, and named her former husband as the father. He denied it, and according to Sharia law, if he doesn't admit it, and there isn't four witnesses who saw the sex taking place, then she is guilty of adultery and should be stoned so she could 'have access to Paradise'. What about Father Andrea Santoro who was shot while praying in his church in Turkey? The motive: the Mohammed cartoons. And shooting a nun in the back as she's going into a hospital to help people is also a sign of a peace-loving religion????? Don't those people realize they're proving the Pope's point for him on what was said several hundred years ago? The hypocrisy of it all just stuns me. UPDATE: Il Papa is standing up for himself! Good! I'm tired of all the PC whiney-baby 'I'm sorry I hurt your feelings' crap that has brought the world to its knees in trying to deal with terrorism. You DON'T need to apologize for the truth!

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